The Life of a Ladybug

If you're here from the Top 10 Products link list ...

2006-12-29T10:29:00.000-05:00

Please be advised that I have moved to Typepad. Unfortunately, my blog address was listed incorrectly. Please join me at http://lifeofaladybug.typepad.com to see my list and, hopefully, to become a regular reader! See you there!

I'm moving!

2006-07-07T18:12:00.000-05:00

Hey, y'all! I'm moving to Typepad! I've gotten Joy to help me with a funky-fresh new logo and header, which will be uploaded soon. Anyway, I hope you'll keep reading and, for those of you who have me in your links (thanks!), please update to my new blog address! Check me out at: http://lifeofaladybug.typepad.com. See ya there, my lovelies!

2006-07-07T18:05:00.000-05:00

4 More Things ...

2006-07-07T13:10:00.000-05:00

1. I cannot stand it when women are referred to as "females". A "female" is what you call an animal, not a person. If you must refer to me in a gender-specific way, call me a woman. Better yet ... try calling me Toya. That would work. That's what names are for, after all ... identifying a person. 2. Even though Beyoncé's BET Awards costume looked like it was made out of aluminum foil, I have to say that "Deja Vu" is my JAM! 3. I am already disappointed in this season of Big Brother. Particularly in my beloved Kaysar. Please, GOD, don't let him become Lex. I couldn't stand my Mack from Iraq becoming someone I don't recognize. If he becomes a jerk, I will so hate him. But still secretly lust after him. Okay ... the lust won't be secret, at all, as I will be broadcasting it weekly from this very blog, complete with entire photo entries filled with my love for him. 4. My entire lunch today consisted of macaroni and cheese. And no, I don't feel guilty.

My latest DeLush review ...

2006-07-06T15:59:00.000-05:00

... is up! Give it a look-see! www.delush.com

4 more things ...

2006-07-06T10:55:00.000-05:00

1. I've always wanted to be able to lope. You know how tall, lanky people "lope" when they walk? I've always wanted to do that. As it is, the best I can do is a healthy sashay. 2. Nobody should be allowed to wear those hideous things called water shoes. Unless, that is, said person is a toddler. In which case, 9 times out of 10, s/he should be allowed to wear whatever s/he wants. Sarai throws a conniption just about every time I tell her that she cannot wear her bright purple Crocs, which, of course, don't really match most of her wardrobe because most of her wardrobe isn't neon purple! Each time I gently say, "Mumma, the Crocs don't match this outfit", she looks at me like I'm extra stupid and says, "But, Mommy ... Pop-Pop bought them", as if this, alone, means they match every piece of clothing in the world. At this point, she can wear the darn Crocs every day if it means that she will get off my nerves ... because, for real? There is nothing like a toddler for being nerve-wracking. Wear the darn Crocs. Wear them. Every day. All day. With orange and blue if you want. Wanna look like Rainbow Brite? Go right ahead. 3. I will not wear open-toed shoes of any sort if my toenails aren't painted. I think it looks unfinished and, even worse, unpretty. And my life is about nothing if not about prettiness. 4. Do not talk to me with your mouth full. First of all, if you start smacking or popping whatever's in your mouth - gum, candy, or what-have-you - I will refuse to talk to you. Secondly, if I can see what you're eating, I will be grossed out immediately and will refuse to talk to you. Either way, the conversation will not continue, so you should have just chewed and swallowed whatever that garbage is before you ever even walked up to me. Nasty dog.

Happy birthday, Vic!!!

2006-07-06T10:52:00.000-05:00

My husband (He of the Many Nicknames) is 33 years old today! Old to death!!!! Happy birthday, Bump!

Pomegranate lemonade ...

2006-07-05T15:54:00.000-05:00

... is yummy!

Birthday Weekend Recap

2006-07-05T10:05:00.000-05:00

It was pandalerium, y'all! (If you've never seen Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck" skits, you won't get the significance of "pandalerium" ... carry on.) I had the most eventful, exhausting weekend EVER! Of course, it all started Friday. After I left work, I picked up Sarai and took her home to hang out with me for a bit. I showered and washed my hair and got dressed - when Vic got home from work he showered and changed, then we dropped off Sarai and headed to Federal Hill. It took quite a bit of time to find a parking space - thankfully, we discovered a garage a few blocks up and around the corner. As we walked toward Three Kings we passed the place where I used to get my nails done (Light Street Nails) back when I was in high school and thought having long, drag queen acrylic nails was the move! We also passed Cross Street Market, which has the best donuts in all of Charm City. I have to remind myself to do downtown with Sarai one day - take her to see the sights like the Science Center and the Aquarium and take a ride on the carousel and make sure that we get Cross Street Market donuts before we go home. When we got to Three Kings, the only folks there were Tonyette and Crystal (who was rockin' the red 'fro, BTW - you go, Crystal!), but others came quite quickly. It was a good crowd of us - a mixture of the various aspects of my life: the Kallisti girls, friends from church, friends from school (middle and high), family (Hi, Poopie!) and new friends. At one point, the party was quite segregated - all the Black folks were sitting at one table and all those of a lighter hue sitting at another. You know that didn't work with me - I demanded that the party be integrated, posthaste! Thanks to Brookie for being the first one to wade in the deeper side of the color pool! Once we got all cafe au lait, the fun really began! Lucy was freakin' awesome, of course. She wore 3 (or 4?) fabulous costumes that I drooled over and now covet, particularly this dark blue one with a diaphanous scarf thingy that draped from it. Crystal cried while watching Lucy dance, which proves that I am not the only crybaby who does that. Vic actually enjoyed himself (!) and was only too happy to watch me dance with the Egyptian cooks, since he had no intention of dancing himself. Even Ericka got into the dance action for a bit! It was fun to improvise with Brooke and watch Nora shake a tail feather. We stayed 'til the wee hours and had an absolute blast! The lovely Lucy will be dancing there again on the 15th and we will be back! And if you go ... try the schwarma, it's divine! Saturday, I was barely able to crawl out of bed, but finally made it to the family picnic around 2 PM (it started at noon). Everything went well all day, 'til the men decided that it would be a good idea to play softball. I just knew that wasn't going to end well ... it didn't. My cousin and his father wound up running into each other head-first. My uncle's eight front teeth were knocked out, he split his tongue, and bit a hole in his lip. My cousin had a head wound. My aunt fell to her knees upon seeing her husband and son laying on the ground, in the middle of a puddle of blood, sprinkled with teeth. The youngest son took off running and crying because he was so distraught. Once again, it was pandalerium ... and not the fun kind. Here come the paramedics. The son goes to one hospital, the father to another. Thankfully, my cousin was tested and treated and released after a couple of hours. His father had to go to shock trauma and get a CAT scan and have his tongue stitched. I saw them both yesterday and they're doing fine. My uncle's tongue is swollen and he has a massive headache, of course, but it could have been much worse. He's a man who never believed in GOD, but when the chaplain came to his hospital bed and asked him if he wanted her to pray for him, he said "yes". Hmm ... why is it that folks suddenly "find GOD" when they're in trouble? Anyway, I went back to their house and helped cart all the leftover food and then stayed around, waiting for updates on their conditions. When we got the final word that all was well, we left, but not before my Aunt Lynette decided there were intruders in the house and had armed three of us with baseball bats, one with a golf club, and one with an unopened bottle of wine, in case we needed to whup somebody's ass. Sunday, I could not get out of bed for church, needless to say. I lolled around, doing much of nothing, until 2 PM, when I had to go to a photo shoot for the LIFE Ministry. It was hot in that house! It was fun, though. Sarai was really good and very patient and got rewarded with her own picture, which made her quite happy. We just hung out as a family for the rest of the day. Monday, we all had breakfast together. Vic left for work and Sarai and I took a nap together. My father called and let me know that he wanted to pick Sarai up to hang out with him and his two stepgranddaughters, so I packed a bag for her and dropped her off at my mom's. Then, I went to the spa for my day of beauty ... ahhh!!! I tell you, should you ever decide to go to Spa in the Valley, please ask for Shelly. That girl gives a massage, body polish and facial like you have never seen, do you hear me??? Then, I had a luxurious mani and pedi in the company of my dear Poopie, followed by a yummy dinner at Noodles and Company. Daddy called to tell me that Sarai decided she didn't want to come home, so she spent the night there and I went home to Vic. I was hoping for some "We have no child in the house!" nookie, but we wound up having an argument instead ... boo. Yesterday, I went to Columbia Mall and headed to the Bobbi Brown counter in Nordstrom to try out the new Chocolate Collection. Delectable. Then off to Sephora to spend my birthday GC - got two POP Beauty Ribbon Glosses and an Urban Decay glittery body powder that smells and tastes like honey ... yummy! I went to pick up Sarai and hung out with my dad, stepmother and nieces for a bit, then we went to my aunt's and hung out there. I got to see both my uncle and my cousin and they're doing fine. My cousin was out and about and my uncle was up and talking, but clearly in a lot of pain. So now ... here I am. Back at work. Oh, the joy. I can't believe it ... for the first time, I was actually looking forward to coming to work ... so I could get some rest!

4 More Things ...

2006-06-30T13:06:00.000-05:00

1. When I say "You're in my prayers" or "I'll pray for you", that doesn't mean that I stop that minute and send up a 20-minute fervent plea on your behalf. I believe that a Christian's life should be a prayer. I believe that I am in communication with GOD, 24/7. I don't have to stop and take a particular moment to pray on anyone's behalf, though I have and do. But, if I'm in the middle of the workday when I get an e-mail about a tragedy in someone's family or a request for a job or something and my reply is "You're in my prayers" or "I'll pray for you", 9 times out of 10, I'm not stopping work and getting on my knees right that second. I know that GOD reads and understands the desires of my heart - if, in my heart, I desire only goodness and blessings for you and I know that you need healing, favor, prosperity, or whatnot - then you are constantly in my prayers. 2. I'm anal about appropriate undergarments. If you're wearing a cream-colored shirt, you shouldn't be wearing a red bra. Do I even have to say that??? 3. I would like to wear some form of headcovering every day. Not a hijab or anything. I'm thinking more along the lines of a gelé ... or a tiara. 4. I've had a seismic shift from wearing and loving only silver to having a preference for gold or bronze. Which is weird ... back in the day (namely, college), I thought it made me kind of cool and rebellious to do only silver and/or white gold, but now, I realize that yellow gold, copper and bronze look better with my skintone. But my wedding rings are platinum. A style conundrum! (I'm pretty sure that Vic isn't going to buy me new rings.)

Go, Toya! It's your birthday!

2006-06-30T12:19:00.000-05:00

I'm 28 today!!! Woo-hoo! Yeah, I'm at work right now, but that's okay, given that I'm off both Monday and Tuesday ... Hooray for the long weekend! Today, I will be off to watch the lovely Lucy dance at Three Kings down in Federal Hill. Tomorrow, I'll be celebrating the 4th of July and Sarai's birthday with my family. Sunday, I'll be getting a well-deserved day of rest and Monday is my Day of Beauty! This is going to be a good year - I can feel it!

A trifling mess!

2006-06-28T09:41:00.000-05:00

Did anybody else besides me, Vic and Tonyette see that hot gar-bahge last night that was called "The BET Awards"!?! That thing was a trifling mess, from beginning to end. Damon Wayans is 1) not funny and 2) really not funny. And he became visibly drunker as the night went on. I would have preferred Steve Harvey as the host and that's saying a lot, as I find him to be a spicy bamma. Chaka Khan should be ashamed of herself. She continues to dress like some sort of zoo animal and look coked up and crazy. Somebody needs to tell her. She had her mama there with her, who, by the way, looked younger, pretty and more appropriate than Chaka ... why didn't Mama tell her not to wear that mess? What was it - a bedspread thrown over top some kind of leather contraption that had a tail and showed her massive thighs! She looked like a molting bird! And, if any of us have any doubt that Yolanda Adams has pretty much crossed over, than you should have seen her singing "Sweet Thang". Tonyette's girl, Crystal, tried to believe that Yolanda was referencing JESUS, but when has He ever been called somebody's "sweet thang?" Come on, now. Why does Mary J. Blige look perpetually pissed at awards shows, like she can't believe she even bothered? Um, then don't bother! And, next time, don't wear boots that are the same color as your skin ... I thought you just had really ridiculously shiny, leathery knees! And get some bangs, girl. You got a five head. I have to love T.I. for performing despite the technical difficulties. Speaking of which, if I start sprinkling the words "potnah" and "pimpin'" into my dialogue, you can thank T.I. Chris Brown is a hottie. If I was a teenager, I would sweat him. Although that shiny blue shirt was a bad choice, as was the flying metal basket and the addition of some arbitrary chick from the audience, who, by the way, was wearing formal shorts, which are never a good look. Why did they so frequently show Snoop rockin' out to other folks' music? By the way, Snoop looked slightly embarrassed to like Chris Brown so much. Diddy is just extra. Janet Jackson looked horrified to be on the same stage with the cast of Good Times. She was hoping we'd forgotten about that. Beyoncé's performance was just the tiniest bit wack. When she fell to the floor and started writhing around, that was it for me. Vic actually changed the channel. And um - did Jay actually smack her butt? Yay, India.Arie! (Why does she have a period between her names? My name is now Toya.Reneé) Prince is the hotness! And, I believe, a woman. I really thought he was gonna sing "I'm Every Woman" with them. Yay, Kirk Franklin for saying, "I want to thank JESUS with the way I live not with my words." Um, take a lesson ... all the rest of you! Rah Digga is a dude. ETA: Thank you for reminding me, Tonyette! I forgot to talk about the straight foolishness that was Jamie Foxx and Fantasia! What was that???? Did somebody forget to tell me that they're going out? Or were they tonguing on stage just for G.P.??? What the freak! Fantasia!!!!! If you aren't embarrassed for yourself, I am embarrassed for you! Visible tongue, y'all - with a lip bite at the end, to boot. Can somebody please get them a room??? Just ... why was everybody so obviously high and drunk? It was so tacky and embarrassing beyond belief. Why can't we do anything classy and elegant for once. I know we want to "keep it real" and "represent" and all that jazz, but for real? Why can't we represent in a more mature manner? Do we really have to look like darn fools all the time???

Something stinks on The View

2006-06-28T07:01:00.000-05:00

So, last week, during List Friday, I talked about the shows I would never want to star in. One of my picks was The View, for my belief that I would wind up slapping either Star Jones, Rosie O'Donnell, or both. This week, my mind has changed. I still wouldn't want to star on The View, but it's no longer because of Star, because, whoops! Star is no longer one of the stars. However, I do think both Rosie and Barbara might cause my slapping hand to tremble. Star Jones has never been one of my favorite people and she still isn't. She can really get on my ever lovin' last nerve. But the way she's been treated recently is just ... wrong. It's what Angie Stone would call "roach." This is straight gutter behavior. Rosie O'Donnell has been talking about Star willy-nilly in the press and, to Star's credit, she hasn't publicly responded. Now, I tend to believe that Star had gastric bypass surgery to shed all those pounds and that she's actually lost too much weight at this point, but you know what? It's really not any of my business, nor is it any of Rosie's. For real? She could stand to drop more than a few! It's interesting to me that, Ms. Walters, who we all know has quite a bit of power and is the creator and producer of The View would hire Rosie and then not tell her to shut her big mouth and quit raking Star through the coals in the national media. It is clear to me that Star Jones was cast as the fat, Black loud mouth woman - the single and bitter one, who would always be alone, because she was so huge and unattractive and emasculating. You know ... she was supposed to fit and feed the stereotype. But when Star found a man that she loved and intended to marry (despite the fact that there are rumors that his name is actually Big Gay Al), flaunted that fact hither and yon, had a whoppingly elaborate and lavish wedding that none of them could or have outdone and then to add insult to injury, dropped a GABILLION pounds and started rocking the same wear they could ... oh, well it was on! How dare she be happy and married and ... (GASP!) thin! How dare she??? And now, Star was instructed to leave The View posthaste, but not say that she'd been fired. Oh, hell no! Like her or not, that woman helped launch that show and helped it to reach its heights. She has promoted herself and that show well. They owe her better than they gave her. After announcing on air that she would not be returning for the 10th season (which she was told not to do!), they (meaning Barbara and Bill, the bald dude) told her agents (!) that she is not to show up to work today! That is trifling. It is trifling and stank and ridiculous and gutter and roach and (insert synonym here). Yes, I realize that if I ever want a broadcasting career and my feelings about this whole situation gets out (Why would it, since no one knows who I am, but still), I may have shot myself in the foot with Barbara. Good thing that I would not intend to bow to kiss Miz Walters' feet after I see how she does folk. Star is better than me, I'll tell you that. There is no way that I would deal with this as graciously as she has done. Somebody woulda got cussed out.

4 More Things ...

2006-06-27T15:37:00.000-05:00

1. I am quick to hang up on folk. I cannot stand rudeness, particularly over the phone. I will tell somebody to change their tone quickly or risk being introduced to my man, Mr. Click. Yes, I will hang up on you. DO NOT take a tone with me! 2. For real? I'm sick of hearing about Harry Potter. Is the very idea that Potter could be killed in the last book so serious that it beared mention on the morning news shows? Because, just in case nobody remembers ... HE'S NOT A REAL PERSON! A fictional character, people. I mean, yeah ... I'm a bit in love with Wolverine. But I understand the concept of the imaginary ... and if he were to die? I wouldn't like, mourn his passing or anything. Goodness gracious. Chill back. 3. I remembered to bring a change of underwear today and, as added protection, I'm wearing Spanx. Just in case my underwear happened to disappear, the Spanx would suffice, since they have a cotton crotch. The cheeks have been harnessed, thank GOD. 4. I just made an appointment for me and Poopie to have quite the day of beauty to celebrate 28! For me: mini facial, Tahitian Coconut body polish, and Cleopatra Milk and Honey manicure and pedicure. For Poopie: Tahitian Coconut body polish and Warm Paraffin mani/pedi. Feel free to sweat us ... we totally understand. Considering that my entire body will feel like a baby's butt when I walk out of there ... I sweat me, too.

How deep is your love for me? (Poor Sisqo.)

2006-06-27T10:28:00.000-05:00

A little while ago, Ericka was in the mall, getting her nails done at one of the nondescript nail salons they have in such places. When, what to her wondering eyes should appear, but ... Sisqo of Dru Hill! Apparently, he was just sitting there ... in the mall, getting a manicure, like Joe Blow. She said he was looking all forlorn, like, "Why doesn't anybody recognize me? Why isn't anyone clamoring for my autograph?" Poor Sisqo. I believe that time is over for you, hon. Nobody really cares much about Dru Hill anymore. I still love you and all, being the true B'More girl that I am. But, I think that, unfortunately, you guys have been relegated to your original place ... playing talent shows and AFRAM. I think it happened when you added the new dude. He kind of sucks, doesn't he? By the way, why is your hair still blonde? Maybe if you reclaimed your dark roots and just came blazin' out as the New and Improved Sisqo for the '07, things would go better for you.

The worst thing EVER!

2006-06-26T12:45:00.000-05:00

Oh. my. GOD. y'all! So, I went down to the gym and had a great workout - 30 minutes on the elliptical (set to the weight loss routine) and then weights. I was dripping sweat and feeling like a kick-ass broad ... all "I am woman, hear me roar!", Christina Aguilera "I'm a fighter", "a bellydancer, a snake charmer" and whatnot. Go into the locker room to shower and change and realize ... I didn't bring a change of panties! GASP!!! The shock ... the horror!!! What do I do? Shower and put on the sweaty panties and risk going back to the office smelling like badussy? Or ... heaven forfend ... go commando? I chose ... loose booty. Good LORD.

She's home!

2006-06-25T14:09:00.000-05:00

Sarai is home from her weeklong vacation! Apart from the day she was born, I've never been so happy to see her. Vic and I have had a vacation from parenting and it was really great and fun. He and I discovered that Sarai is quite capable of spending extended time away with a family member, which will make us feel much better about getting away, when we can. But, we've spent more than a little bit of time in this past week thinking about her and talking about her and wondering what she was doing. You never truly get away from being a parent, not even for a minute. I'm so happy she's home.

It was our anniversary ... anniversary

2006-06-23T13:53:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday, as Vic and I were driving to pick up my anniversary present (a new pink cellphone, with matching carrier and earpiece!) and dinner, our first dance song came on the radio. In case you didn't know, our first dance was to Lady in My Life by Michael Jackson. I don't believe in coincidences, so I just know that it was GOD's way of saying "Happy Anniversary" to us. Thanks, LORD! Also, Vic and I have decided that we have the sexiest first dance song ever. There is no way you can listen to that song and not want to jump someone's bones. Which, of course, is why our first dance was actually more like freakin', complete with me turning my booty to him and him gettin' all up on it. Vic said that the only way we could have been any steamier would have been to have our first dance to Let's Get It On. But that would have been trashy.

So You Think You Can ... Be Ghetto?

2006-06-22T14:27:00.000-05:00

Apparently, not if your name is Aleksandra. Do I really need to go through this again? If you've been a regular reader or if you know me personally, you know how much I detest the use of the word "ghetto" as a descriptor. It's just not necessary. Aleksandra and Jason were supposed to do Old School East Coast hip-hop dance. Why could she not have just said, "I can't do Old School East Coast hip-hop?" Why did she have to say, "I can't dance all ... ghetto ... like them", referring to the three other people in the room, two of which are Black and one who looks to be Hispanic or biracial? I don't care what people say ... when one uses "ghetto" to describe something, one is saying that thing is somehow inferior. 'Cause, if not, then why when something is slapdash or uncouth or whatnot, it's referred to as "ghetto"? In my mind, "ghetto" is akin to "nigger." Folks can say that they're using it with love, but that's bull. No one can call me inferior and tell me they did so with love. It's just like calling me "bitch." You can't call me bitch with love. Bitch is a fighting word and I will be instantly pissed with anyone who uses that word toward me. People don't acknowledge that words have power, an energy that goes along with them. That energy can be either positive and uplifting or negative and degrading. Every time we use such words to refer to ourselves, we are aiding in our own destruction - killing our own spirits with self-hatred and making others think that it's okay to join in the fun. BTW, please don't try to educate me on the history of the word "ghetto." I know that it was originally used to refer to where the Jews were forced to live during the Holocaust, but that's not how it's commonly used now. We all know what we mean when we use the word.

List Friday: 5 Shows I Would Never Be On

2006-06-22T10:50:00.000-05:00

1. Solitary. I just discovered this reality show on the Fox Reality network. It is the creepiest reality show yet. It's all run by this "computer" with the creepiest, metallicized voice. It's like the midget lady from Poltergeist's voice, if it was computerized - if you can imagine that. The contestants aren't really competing against one another, so much - they're more competing against themselves and seeing how much torture they can take. The show puts them through all these awful "tasks" - they're really like guinea pigs. They make them go for days without eating and sleeping and then have to perform feats of mental prowess. It's really kind of scary and awful and yet I can't turn away. I would never, never in life be on that show. 2. Survivor. Yeah, camping is not for me. Particularly when it's done on a raging hot island in the middle of nowhere, where you're bound to get bitten by a shark, fall into some fire, get a raging case of IBS, or some such nonsense. Besides which, I'm so not up for physical feats. And I would be voted off with the quickness - either for refusing to do much around camp because ... starting a fire, eating dirt, farming for bugs ... not so much ... or because everyone would hate me. I would tell them right to their faces how I felt about them because I wouldn't be able to help myself and they would send my happy butt right back to Baltimore, which would be just fine with me. 3. Big Brother: All Stars. Not because I wouldn't want to, but because Kaysar might be voted back in and then I would have to attack him and pin him down and plant kisses all over him and play with his pretty, pretty hair and they would have to forcibly remove me and not allow me back on the premises. And probably charge me with stalking and make me have to stay a hundred feet away from him at all times. I would still find a way to charter a plane to fly over the house, trailing a banner that proclaims, "Kaysar, I love you!" He would be on his prayer rug in a minute, begging Allah to rid him of the nuisance that is me. 4. Hell's Kitchen. Because I would have to slap that chef in the face. He's nasty for no reason whatsoever. Calling people "donkey????" Come on! 5. The View. I would choke Star Jones on the first day. Or Rosie. One or the other ... or both.

It's our anniversary ... anniversary!

2006-06-22T10:45:00.000-05:00

"Today is a special day ... not just any day. And you can have everything you want your way. Tell your supervisor you're leaving early today and I will help to pay for the rest of your day ... Do you know what today is? It's our anniversary ... anniversary. Do you know what today is? It's our anniversary ... made for you and me." Happy anniversary to me and the Schmoobin McBoobin!

Love/hate

2006-06-21T15:40:00.000-05:00

I love: men - I love to look at them, smell them (if they don't stink, McConaughey!), feel them (one, in particular - Hi, Booba!), be around them. There's something about the male energy that's just ... tasty, is the right word, I think. my hair - It's taken me so long to be able to say that, but I do. I love my hair, just the way it is right now. my family - All of them, even the crazy ones. bellydance. Baskins Robbins Banana Royales. Vic bought me one the night before last and I did ... things ... to him in gratitude. pictures of people I love - because I get to look at the faces of those I love. I particularly love pictures of Mumma ... because she's Mumma and because she takes the world's best pictures. She has the funniest faces ever. Vic's cell phone - because it has this funny video of Mumma on it. He's titled it "Baby Temper." It's only about 20 seconds long, but I laugh uproariously every time I watch it and it chokes me up. I can't believe he captured such a moment - it's so her. She's demanding to see his phone, louder and louder, until finally ... she's like "Forget it" and turns her back to him and eats a potato chip. having Vic to myself this week. It's been really nice - peaceful and quiet. It reminds me of when we first started out. cookouts. Who doesn't? I hate ... war. unmanicured nails. I cannot stand dirty, chipped up nails. If your polish is chipped, take it off. If your nails are raggedy, file them. It's not hard. Clean, filed nails are presentable and darn near necessary! I will not let you touch me with ugly nails. I inspect Vic's every night before bed and have been known to give him an impromptu manicure if they're looking grody. black and white outfits. With nothing to make them special. I can't stand that. At least try. Put some pep in your wardrobe! dry lips. I have lip balm and/or lipgloss on me at all times. ash. Please do not be ashy around me. I will hand you lotion and demand that you use it, while I watch.

4 More Things will continue!

2006-06-21T15:24:00.000-05:00

Because I've had such fun with it and because quite a few of you have seemed to have fun reading and commenting on them, I will continue 4 more things, though you already know 28 more things about me. It's fun.

4 More Things ...

2006-06-21T10:09:00.000-05:00

1. I have a ridiculous amount of lipgloss. I have lipstick, but I don't like it so much. I feel that I should have glossy lips at all times - the better to play up the full lusciousness. 2. Last night, I was on the phone with Ericka and her boyfriend for two hours. And I don't think we even talked about anything in particular. At one point, we debated the pronunciation of the names of all the various "peoples" Gulliver met in Gulliver's Travels, particularly whether "Lilliputians" is pronounced "lil-ih-poo-shens" (like Ericka and I pronounce it) or "lil-ih-put-ee-ins" (like Reggie, so very incorrectly, pronounces it). We also discussed how "prescriptionalize" is not a word (again, Reggie). I also got his side of the story of their first date and he offered to cook me a yummy dinner, after I quite pointedly asked him when he was going to get around to it. They thanked me for introducing them, but, to my credit, I didn't take all the kudos and did reinforce that Vic is the one who really introduced them, I was just the one who kicked Vic's butt in gear on that front. I am a great matchmaker, if I do say so myself. Also, I'm wondering why fraternities don't stick to the Old Testament rules of wife sharing ... okay, it's not really sharing, as a man is supposed to die first and then his brother is supposed to marry his wife to continue the family name. But, for real? If Alpha was down with the OT like that, I already know who I would pick to take over as my husband should Victor kick it. Vic knows, too, and is totally fine with it. Actually, I think it's making him ride that stupid motorcycle just a little more carefully, 'cause he knows that I already have my next husband picked out. Never mind that the dude I've picked is currently engaged to someone else - he is a perfect sculpture of a man. But ... not too bright, I'm afraid. He'd be my trophy husband. 3. I need a Cinnabon. I don't just want it ... I need it. Where can I get one? I think the closest place is Columbia Mall and I'm wondering if I'm justified in driving all the way there on my lunch hour to get one. Okay, I'm not justified in doing that at all. But will I? 4. I snapped at one of my co-workers during today's staff meeting. But I don't feel bad because she was being eye-rollingly ridiculous and needed to move on.

4 More Things

2006-06-20T16:36:00.000-05:00

1. I have a thing for flip-flops. I don't think you can ever have too many. I have about a bajillion and keep adding to the number. I must have a pair to match every single item in my wardrobe. And none of my flip-flops are "plain". There must be "something" to it - a wedge, a pattern, something. My plainest pairs are Havianas and those have a texture to the inside. Even my black flip-flops have a wedge and sequins. Then there are my ladybug pair, my crab pair, my turquoise pair with the high wedge and lime flowers, my brown leather ones with turquoise beads and cowry shells ... 2. If I had to choose between waffles and pancakes, I'd probably choose pancakes. But it would be a hard choice to make. 3. I don't find Matthew McConaughey attractive. Apparently, I'm one of the very few. I think he looks like he smells. Then again, so does Johnny Depp. But Johnny looks like he'd just smell like cigarette smoke and hair grease. Matthew looks like he smells like butt and armpits. 4. I have a picture of my father at the age of 12, hanging in my cube. Just because I think it's the most adorable picture ever and because, often, I expect a lot out of my father and it helps me to look at him as a boy and remember ... he's just a guy. He's my daddy and a great guy, but just a guy, who was little once and makes mistakes and isn't perfect. But he's still my hero.

My first DeLush review!

2006-06-16T07:46:00.000-05:00

It's up! I'm so excited, y'all! I've been named a Reviewer! I have a title and bio and everything! Check it out: www.delush.com!

So You Think You Can ... Flip?

2006-06-15T09:20:00.000-05:00

I understand that I don't know much about formal styles of dance. Before becoming a bellydancer, my exposure to other dance styles has only been as audience, not as participant. I took ballet when I was 3 and quickly became bored with it. So, take what I say with a grain of salt. But, after watching last night's episode of So You Think You Can Dance and looking at the flashbacks to the auditions, I realized just how many of the dancers were flipping and splitting and bouncing all over the stage. Now, I expect that from the breakers, but from the jazz/modern/etc. dancers, it just seemed like some kind of weird overkill. Like, I see that you're flexible and athletic and that's nice, but ... can you dance? It seemed like they were trying out for some kind of Olympic event. I'm not saying that dance should not count as a sport. I am well aware of how much physical strength, stamina and athleticism go into being a good dancer. But I would think that, if a person is trying out for a dance show, they would, I don't know ... dance or something. But maybe it's just me. BTW - Out of all the couples last night, Benji and Donyelle were my favorite. That little White swing kid was popping it! Still ... I miss Jamile.

4 More Things ...

2006-06-15T08:07:00.000-05:00

1. I am in serious PMS attack mode. I knew it was serious when my eyes teared up from feeling that I was being "persecuted" for not liking Cirque du Soleil. 2. If I could live in an old movie, I would. Hopefully, that old movie would be The Ten Commandments and I would be Nefertiri. But only before the whole eldest son dying thing. 3. As much as I love my daughter, I am not ready to have another child. Vic and I love Sarai unmeasurably, but we also realize how busy our schedules are. It is important to us that we spend quality time with our daughter and we don't think we have the time to split between two children. It just wouldn't be fair to either of them or to us, who both have dreams that we want to pursue. Right now, I'm focusing on my dancing - tightening my technique and becoming the professional-quality performer that I know I can be - and Vic is ready to go to graduate school and I want to support him in that effort. So, Sarai is going to be an only child for a while. I don't think she'll mind, particularly since my mother always has extra children at her house - Sarai has plenty of playmates. And I don't think she minds being the center of attention, either. 4. I have a lead stomach and could drink like a fish if I wanted to, but I don't like the taste of alcohol. The only drinks I like are fruity, mixed drinks and wines, preferably blush or red. I think most liquor tastes like lighter fluid or cough syrup, neither of which are my drink of choice.

What? You outta Cris? Mo it up!

2006-06-15T06:39:00.000-05:00

Reportedly, the CEO of Cristál has said that he looks upon his company's relationship with hip-hop culture with "interest and serenity." Jay-Z has decided that this man is racist and does not appreciate what hip-hop music and culture have done to promote his product. In Jay-Z's mind, Cristál no longer exists - he will not serve or promote it through any of his business holdings, including his nightclub, nor will he drink it in his personal life. He is now throwing his weight behind Dom Perignon. Because, of course, there has to be a drink of choice among the hip-hop set. Here's my suggestion: They should go with orange juice. It's pure. It's not from concentrate. And I've never heard an orange utter a dubiously racist word in my life.

4 More Things ...

2006-06-14T12:00:00.000-05:00

1. I am insanely excited to be going to New York with Vic this weekend. I think we need this time away - we get to feel young and free and wild and just be boyfriend and girlfriend again. I'm really looking forward to it and he is, too. We don't have many plans at all, which adds to the excitement. 2. I think the perfect PMS snack is potato chips (Utz plain) dipped in grape jelly. See how it gives you both the salty and the sweet? In a pinch, a mini Snickers will do, as will a Reese's peanut butter cup. 3. In college, I slept with a babydoll my grandmother gave me before I moved into the dorm. Her name was Lily Kaylin (pronounced all Southern-like: Kay-Lynn) Smith, 'til I started going with Kamau, whereupon her name became Lily Kaylin Patterson. Sadly enough, he was crazy enough to actually treat her like a baby. Or maybe I was the crazy one for dating someone who would treat a doll like a baby. And wear a dog chain around his neck. And dye his hair orange. And put curl wax in it. Yeah ... I was the crazy one. 4. I've always wanted to be the type of woman who wears hats. But, I tried it for a while and it didn't work for me. They were cute, but I have a big head and it was hard to find hats that fit. Plus, they were hot ... and I hate to be hot. (In the literal sense of degree of temperature. I love to be "hot" as in "sexual chocolate.") And, now that I have natural hair, hats don't really fit right. But, at least, I have a reason to wear headwraps and hair adornments, what with the natural thing and my ATS bellydancing. That makes up for it somewhat.

You know what's played out?

2006-06-13T18:57:00.000-05:00

Having music playing on your answering machine or voicemail. Just get to the point.

Today's Ensemble

2006-06-13T15:26:00.000-05:00

Today's Outfit ... beige v-neck empire waist shirt w/lettuce-edged neckline brown double-button knit pants brown mock croc pointy-toe high-heeled loafer silver tribal cuff w/brown and green stones brown and green wooden drop earrings wedding set watch Today's Fragrance ... J. Lo Live Today's Make-up ... MAC Studio Stick Foundation - NW35 CoverGirl Lash Exact mascara - Very Black MAC Powder Blush - Fleur Power MAC Mineralize Skin Finish - Stereo Rose Rosebud Strawberry Lip Balm MAC Glaze Lipstick - Lure (limited edition) MAC Lipglass - Pink Clash (limited edition) Today's Hair ... high puff

4 More Things ...

2006-06-13T13:06:00.000-05:00

1. The older I get, the more I love Teena Marie. I was told years ago that young people really can't appreciate Teena Marie. Back then, I hated her voice with a passion. And now, I have four Teena Marie songs on my iPod and Portuguese Love has been floating through my mind, nonstop, for days. I don't know why, but the older I get, the more her drama-filled lyrics strike my fancy. 2. What I want, more than anything, to get from my experience as a parent is not to become one of "those mothers." I desperately fight against hovering over Sarai or treating her like she's made of glass. I know that she's a small child and she's dependent upon me for safety, shelter, proper raising and everything else I can think of, but she's also an independent being - she has a mind that's capable of intelligent thought and she uses that mind (and the mouth it's connected to) regularly and well. I don't want to protect her so much that she never gets to experience life, in all its fullness. So, I'm trying my best to expose her to things - to different ways of living, different cultures, different foods, travel, books, music ... I just want her to know that there is so much more out there than can be seen from her front door or even shown on her television set. There is life to be grabbed and experiences to be had, adventures to go on and dreams to be pursued ... and I want all those things for her. 3. I am afraid of clowns. Desperately afraid. They are public menaces and should be abolished. They are evil and must be destroyed. Sarai will never, ever have a clown at one of her parties, or even a clown doll. I'm not sure that I'll even ever be able to take her to the circus, unless we sit so high in the rafters that the possibility of a clown ever coming near us is almost nil. 4. Speaking of circuses, I think I might the only person besides Kathy Griffin, who doesn't get the point of Cirque du Soleil. I'm sure it's all very sophisticated and artsy fartsy, so maybe that's why I don't get it at all - it just goes way over my head. I like my fun to be, you know ... fun. I think that clowns (GOD forbid) and other circus performers, like acrobats and contortionists and whatnot should wear clothes. I don't want to see a naked circus act, even if it's to make a point. Because I don't get the point. I certainly don't get the point of a circus that's seemingly marketed toward adults. Maybe that's why it's all in Vegas, instead of traveling to the Baltimore Arena, like Barnum & Bailey. I mean, do they even serve cotton candy at Cirque du Soleil shows? Because what's the point of a circus without cotton candy???

Today's Ensemble

2006-06-12T14:32:00.000-05:00

Today's outfit ... chocolate brown wrap dress with crochet inserts on the shoulders and across the top of the back white lace cami gold slingbacks gold bangles gold etched earrings wedding set Fossil watch Today's fragrance ... Comptoir Sud Pacifique - Vanille Coco eau de Voyage Today's hair ... high afro puff Today's make-up ... MAC Studio Stick foundation - NW35 MAC Eye Shadow - Naked Lunch Mark On the Edge Hook Up Liquid Liner - Cleo (black) CoverGirl Lash Exact mascara - Very Black MAC Powder Blush - Fleur Power Rosebud Strawberry Lip Balm MAC Glow Baby Glow Hook Up Lip Gloss - Pink Crush (I'm testing the Mark products as part of an Allure magazine focus group - I like it!)

4 More Things About Me ...

2006-06-12T09:12:00.000-05:00

1. Apparently, I am the Jezebel among my friends. Not that I'm a whore or anything because I'm not, but it's clear that my friends think I'm someone with whom they can discuss issues of a sexual nature. I think it's because I'm clear that I won't make fun of someone for having questions or whatever and because I treat sex as a natural act ... because it is! I would think that, for all us married folk, we're having sex fairly regularly and, for those of us who aren't married, either you're doing it anyway or you're definitely thinking about it from time to time. So, why are people always acting so freaking shocked that sex comes up as a topic of conversation? And why do some Christians think that one should never discuss sex. I mean, come on! GOD invented sex, people! When the Bible says that GOD brought Eve to Adam and Adam knew her, what do they think "knew" means??? Cain and Abel weren't immaculate conception, folks! Anyhow ... yeah, I'm the one who gets called when folks want to try something new and they're looking for ideas. And I'm always shocked and like, "Why are you asking me???" And the answer is always, "Don't act like you don't know." Because ... yeah. The innocent act isn't working, huh? 2. I'm new to gold. I have always been a silver girl. I've been very set in my ways about what colors I think look good on me - always silver, lots of pink and purple. But then I started reading books like What Not to Wear and realized ... there's a whole rainbow of colors that look good on me and most of them are earthier colors. So, I'm into gold now because it looks lovely with my skin, as does red, orange (Gasp!), olive (who knew?) and brown. You'll be seeing a lot of these colors in my wardrobe. Pink will still be there, too - it's my favorite and I've found that most shades of it make my face look really healthy and rosy. 3. I think Terrence Howard is sexy because he looks like he's just on this side of crazy. Kozbi and I were discussing this last night. She says that Terrence Howard makes her uncomfortable because he looks like he might be a pimp, in actuality. Which ... she's right. But there's something so kind of oily and slick about him that I usually hate, but on him is quite scrumpfy. Like he looks like he whispers lots of dirty little nothings into your ear and has his way with you before you know what happened. And he definitely looks like the slightest thing could send him over the line into insanity. I don't know why I find that sexy, but there you go. Okay, I do know why ... I have a thing for danger. There, I said it. 4. I love to type. I always have - it relaxes me. That's a mundane thing to reveal, isn't it?

You know what's not cute?

2006-06-12T09:11:00.000-05:00

Pleated pants. They are never a good style choice - ever. They make even the skinniest of people look like they have a poochy stomach. And for those of us with a poochy stomach, they make us look positively pregnant.

28 Things About Me: The first four

2006-06-09T13:29:00.000-05:00

In celebration of my upcoming 28th birthday, I'm going to be sharing 28 things about me that you probably don't already know. I'll post four things on seven different days. So, here are the first four! 1. I like "White girl music." I have been told by many that I have "eclectic" music tastes. So, yeah ... I don't listen to all hip-hop or the typical "urban" music. I think it's sad that Black people are only supposed to like specific types of music: rap, neosoul, R&B and Gospel. It's a huge shock or something that I have, as part of my musical collection, Alanis Morrisette, No Doubt (no, not Gwen Stefani as a solo artist - No Doubt the entire group), Nirvana, and, LORD help me, Guns n Roses. So, apparently, not only am I a White girl ... but I'm a White girl from about 1994. 2. I sing, out loud, for no reason. I can make a song out of anything, ask my husband. I make up tunes and rhymes and just start singing about the mundane things of life ... out loud ... in public places. Vic is frequently embarrassed by this. Sarai is down with the public singing, much to Vic's chagrin. Just last week, Sarai and I burst into Walk Away by Kelly Clarkson ... at our table in Outback. Vic tried to slide underneath the table as she and I delightedly sang at pretty much the top of our lungs for each other's enjoyment and the entertainment of our fellow diners. No one seemed to mind but Vic. After Sarai and I were done with our magnificent duet, she hopped down and proceeded to bellydance for her finale. I was so proud. 3. I feel funny if I don't have something hot to drink every day. Tea, coffee, latte, hot chocolate ... something. If I don't have something hot to drink, the day hasn't gone well at all ... I don't care if it's 100 degrees outside. Even when I go on Caribbean cruises, when it is undoubtedly hot, I order hot tea with breakfast. 4. Lotus told me last night that I have horse eyes. I didn't know whether to be flattered or not until she told me that she meant that I have large, beautiful, almond-shaped eyes. I went home and told Vic that I don't think he recognizes the magnificence of my horse eyes. He gave me the "huh?" look, so I told him that Lotus says I have horse eyes, to which he responded, "Is that some sort of bellydance thing?" Uh, no, Booba ... poor man. Now that I know that Lotus the Glorious thinks my eyes are beautiful, I am obsessed with looking at them. Not so coincidentally, when I was a small child (like 3 or 4), I told my Aunt Julie (while looking in the mirror at myself), "When I get older, I won't have to do a thing with my eyes." Yeah ... except wear glasses because I'm so darn nearsighted.

Suhaila again

2006-06-09T08:14:00.000-05:00

Okay, yes ... I love her and I'm not ashamed to admit it! She sent me an e-mail this morning (from Europe, mind you!) to tell me that it was her honor to send that picture to Sarai and that, once she returns from Europe, there'll be another present in the mail. Can you imagine??? She is freakin' awesome!!!!

Sometimes I wish I had a brain eraser ...

2006-06-08T11:17:00.001-05:00

'Cause the thing is, no matter how much I try not to, it will always drift back to my past loves. Like today ... I'm sitting here listening to the iPod and "Every Little Thing You Do" by Soul For Real comes on. I love that song - it reminds me of high school ... it also reminds me of him. Isn't it amazing how a song or a scent can slam you right back into a particular time and space and all the feelings you had then come flooding back? There are three songs that take me back to him - "Every Little Thing You Do", "Break Up To Make Up" by The Stylistics (I think) ... it was the song he was singing when I talked to him on the phone for the first time, and "How Deep Is Your Love" by the BeeGees, which was one of his favorites. Whenever I hear any of them, I remember what it was like to love him. I was so young ... he was so young. We were both immature and equally melodramatic. Our relationship was full of such hills and valleys, you can't imagine. (Well, some of you can, because you were there.) He was not the first boy I ever loved, but he was the first one to love me back. I do believe he truly loved me, at least, as much as a teenaged boy can love. Everything about us was fiery ... we had the most Godawful break-ups and the most yummy make-ups. He was a jackass in every sense of the word, except, well, the literal one, since he wasn't actually a donkey or anything. But in the sense that jackass = sucky, he was that and more. The way he treated me really sucked sometimes. But he was a sweet jackass, if there is such a thing. He thought I was beautiful and told me so often. He was fiercely protective. But he was also fiercely jealous and controlling, in a way only a conceited teenaged boy can be. He had the voice of an angel and was a handsome devil and he tore my heart out when he boarded that plane. Still, I outgrew him before he did likewise and it wasn't a pleasant ending the first time ... or the second. I am thankful to have had him in my life, if only because I can say that I experienced a true teenaged romance, in all its glory and pain. And because, when good love came along, in the form of Victor, I recognized it because it looked nothing like him.

Hip-hop culture?

2006-06-08T08:12:00.000-05:00

As a bellydancer, I've come into contact with lots of people who are concerned about the "integrity of our dance," "the 'essence' of a culture," etc. I, too, want to learn and understand all I can about the cultures and the peoples from which this dance that I love was derived. But, it's led me to wonder, why is that people who are so concerned about preserving the culture of a society so far away aren't at all worried about preserving the culture of a people right here in their own country? Truth is, I am often at least slightly annoyed ... and sometimes, downright irked, when I see squadrons of cute little White girls in perky ponytails doing "hip hop" dance. I am of the hip hop generation. And there are too many who don't want to acknowledge hip hop as a culture - one that was born and raised in the ghettos, inhabited primarily by Blacks. My heart breaks for the state of hip hop right now - for where we've allowed ourselves to be led. I cry for those who have sold their soul to the highest bidder and turned music that was once a method of adding light to the darkness and voicing political protest into one more arena for spreading sex, violence and misogyny. And I wonder why we don't recognize what we're doing to ourselves? Why don't we recognize that, for the price of a luxury car or a few tacky ass platinum pendants, we have sold ourselves as the criminals, sex crazed lunatics, bitches, whores, drug dealers, and leeches that they have told us that we are? We've all heard that the majority of hip hop music is consumed by Whites ... this is the image of us that they're receiving. And they're dancing to it. Ya feel me? Sorry, but, in the words of Treach, "If you ain't never been to the ghetto, don't ever come to the ghetto. 'Cause you wouldn't understand the ghetto, so stay the f*** out of the ghetto." So, the moral of the story is: If you haven't tried to truly know a people or understand where they're coming from, maybe you aren't the right person to appropriate a piece of their culture for your own enjoyment, even if that culture is homegrown. And, conversely, just because you come from a culture, that doesn't mean that you truly care about it. Your ten platinum teeth, big ole jewelry, fancy cars and naked hos don't mean you're "keepin' it real", cause, for real? I haven't seen much of that where I'm from. Yeah, "real" can be hookers and dealers and baby mommas, but "real" is also struggle and love and family and education. If what you're trying to sell to the world is an image of us, why did you pick the former? Is it because that's what "sells"? Why do you think that is? Hmm ... maybe because it's what feeds the stereotype. Think twice, y'all.

Hear the Word of the iPod, Part Two

2006-06-07T10:29:00.000-05:00

It was fun the first time, so I'm gonna do it again. What is missing from my life? "So Fresh, So Clean" - Outkast Dude, I am both fresh and clean! How dare you hint otherwise??? I take a shower every day! You mean iPod! I don't like you at all anymore! Will I find love? "Sugar" - Trick Daddy, et al. Weird. This song is all about dudes "twirling a woman on their tongue", pretty much. I mean, yeah ... I like that and all, but it doesn't have much to do with love, does it? Will I become rich? "Touch" - Omarion. Hmm ... I'll touch richness. So, a little bit rich? Or something close? Or I will become rich by touching folks? Is that emotionally or physically. Or will I become rich from dancing to this song? Because I totally want to do that! Does someone have a crush on me? "Let's Stay Together" - Al Green Cool! Does this mean that my crush is my beloved Booba? He wants to "stay together" with me, doesn't he? He's cute. I heart him. What is my favorite sexual position? Again, all church members and other fellow Christians feel free to skip this answer, should your sensibilities be offended. Here goes ... "Breakdown" - Mariah Carey Hmm ... is there such a position? 'Cause I've never heard of it and it's supposedly my favorite! Am I good looking? "Baby Boy" - Beyoncé Is this saying that I look like a baby boy? Or that I'm as good looking as Beyoncé? I mean, hey ... I believe it. I think I'm darn good looking. I'd love to have Beyoncé's legs, I'll tell you that. What makes me the most happy? "Gimme That" - Chris Brown. I am quite happy when he gives me that. Meaning Vic, not Chris Brown. I mean, Chris is cute and all, but I'm not into the kids. What is my biggest regret? "Lady Marmalade" - Christina Aguilera and 'em. Well, this doesn't make sense. I did perform Lady Marmalade here at work once, but I don't regret it at all ... it was fun. Maybe my biggest regret is that I can't think of a way to convince the Kallisti girls that we should all dress up like the chicks in the video and somehow try to pass it off as "tribal fusion." Fusing bellydance and ... ho-dom? I don't know. But I think we would look hot in harlot wear. How will I die? I'm not sure I want to know the answer to this. Here goes ... "As" - Stevie Wonder??? Um ... I don't know what that means. Do I act my age? "Beauty" - Dru Hill Well, okay. Even though I'm old, I'm beautiful? Or maybe the iPod is reminding me of how young I was when I thought that "Beauty" would make a good processional for my wedding. LORD. What type of tattoo should I get? "Superstar" - Luther Vandross A tattoo of a star, huh? Like an actual star or a celebrity? A shooting star might be cool. Do I like pain? "Crazy in Love" - Beyoncé I've definitely been in pain from the craziness of love more than once. And yes ... a part of me liked it. I'm all about the drama, after all. Is there anyone else like me out there? "Whenever, Wherever" - Shakira I'd like to be able to do the things with my body that Shakira does with hers. LORD, that girl can move! Do I love to party? "Hips Don't Lie" - Shakira and Wyclef Jean. Wow, two Shakira songs in a row. I love her! And yeah ... I love partying. My hips don't lie. I can't hold them still. You should have seen me during open dancing at the last Five Seasons. Shameless. I loved every second of it. It's so fun to dance without worrying about whether I'm performing well ... just bellydancing for the heck of it. Where should I move to? "Just a Friend 2002" - Mario. Mario is from Baltimore. And the video was shot outside of the Senator Theatre. Which tells me that I'm exactly where I should be. Will I ever be president? "Fi El Awel" - Mohammed Mohie. Okay, this is from the Bellydance Superstars, Volume 3 CD. I love the song, but I have no idea what "fi el awel" even means. Somehow, I don't think a bellydancer will ever be president. Darn. What is fun for me? "Setembro" - Take 6 This was the processional at my wedding (a much better choice than "Beauty", by the way). It was fun for me to plan that. Sometimes I think I should chuck it all and become an event planner. I think I'd be good at it. Will I ever learn to fly? "All The Man That I Need" - Whitney Houston. I guess this means that I'll only ever fly the way Whitney does. And since I have no desire for the nose candy, I guess I'll never be leaving the ground without benefit of a plane. What is my superpower? "Since U Been Gone" - Kelly Clarkson. I have the amazing ability to get rid of foolish men. Will I be successful? "Baby Got Back" - Sir Mix-a-Lot. HA! I will be successful because I have large hindparts. How often do I get angry? "Shake It Off" - Mariah Carey. This is true. I'm angry quite often, but don't hold grudges very often. I'm amazingly able to shake off my anger and move on. That is, unless you continue to piss me off over and over. I'm human, after all. What is my favorite thing to do? "Butterfly" - Mariah Carey. Um, do I have an inordinate amount of Mariah on my iPod or what?

Whatever happened to Jane Child?

2006-06-02T11:31:00.000-05:00

I have been rockin' to I Don't Wanna Fall in Love on the ole iPod Nano (it's one of my favorite workout songs) and it occurred to me ... this chick has fallen off the face of the planet! I thought I was the only one who still appreciated this song 'til The Boobinator, of all people, told me that he used to love it and Brooke told me that Tim rocks it when he's DJing. Okay, are me, Vic and Tim the only ones who still love this song? And, Jane, for the love of GOD ... where are you???

LVNLAVDALOCA

2006-06-02T10:53:00.000-05:00

Okay, what is truly the deal with personalized license plates? Aren't they just the tiniest bit wack to begin with? Doesn't having your personalized plates say (in a mangled way) "Livin' La Vida Loca" just make you look like a sad, nay ... pathetic soul? Now, admittedly, I loved that song (and Ricky Martin ... and, his butt) when it first came out. But, jumping on the bandwagon almost a decade late ... wow.

Product Review: MAC blush in Fleur Power

2006-06-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

Props to the girls over at DeLush (www.delush.com) for getting an interview with celebrity make-up artist Carmindy of What Not to Wear fame. I love Carmindy and always like to see the transformations of the women who sit in her chair. I appreciate Carmindy's simple approach to make-up - she never packs the women's faces with pounds and pounds of cosmetics; she simply shows them a few products and techniques that will make them look like themselves, only much prettier. That is what I strive to do when I apply make-up to a client - not a makeover, just a toucher-upper, if you will. Anyway, one of Carmindy's usual recommendations is that the client use a pinky-coral blush to add a touch of fresh color to her cheeks. I'd been searching for a similar color for myself and other brown-skinned divas. I noticed that Carmindy seems to use NARS Orgasm a lot on fairer-skinned ladies and I have that and love it, even for myself, but it only produces the faintest peachy glow on me, so I know that, on darker women, it wouldn't show up at all, or, if it did, it would read as ashy, which is never attractive. Lately, I've seen her using a MAC blush (I know I'm not the only one who can tell a make-up line by its packaging, right?), but I couldn't tell which shade. I have Dollymix, which is my absolute fave because I look so pinkly pretty when I wear it, but it's a really true candy pink, not the coral I was looking for. But, yay for the ladies at DeLush, who got Carmindy to mention the exact shade - Fleur Power! Of course, I bought it posthaste and, let me tell you, it is perfect! The best cheeky coral cuteness ever! Woo-hoo! Pick it up!

Crime against fashion

2006-05-31T12:27:00.000-05:00

There is a lady here at work who insists upon wearing leggings (for heaven's sake!) every day! Leggings with long t-shirts, leggings with short t-shirts, leggings with freakin' orange blazers! And no, she's not some nubile young thing in her 20s who's inexplicably influenced by the "fashion stylings" of celebrities like Mischa Barton, Paris Hilton and Sienna Miller, who have all somehow made a generation of young women think that reverting to the hideous fashion escapades of the '80s is a good idea. This woman is 60 if she's a day! Here's my question: Who's the person that told her that she looked good in those things in the first place? Because, truthfully, I'd like to hit him or her over the head with a stick.

Avatar

2006-05-30T16:51:00.000-05:00

So, yeah, Avatar Toya has a new hairdo. Just wanna let you know that I have, by no means, gone back on the natural. However, it is now hot as Hades in ole B'More and I felt the need to slick the 'fro down and pull it back. So, I have totally smooth hair in the front and a lil' 'fro puff in the back. Since there's no afro puff hairdo option, I had to go with the smoothed down ponytail. Cute, huh?

I am a freak!

2006-05-30T15:06:00.000-05:00

I'm listening to "Careless Whisper" ("I'm never gonna dance again. Guilty feet have got no rhythm.") on the iPod and I am actually tearing up! What the freak??? I am such an overly emotional sissy girl - I cry on the craziest things! It irks me how close to the surface my emotions are - I can burst out laughing and not be able to stop over things that aren't at all funny to anyone else and bawl my eyes out over the silliest little things.

Step aside, Dempsey!

2006-05-30T14:59:00.000-05:00

Make way for my new lover, Hugh Jackman (or, as he is known in my dreams, Wolverine). I would like to make a general announcement that Mr. Jackman will be holding the title of "Toya's Celebrity Boyfriend" until at least early July, when he will have to compete for my affections with both Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom.

The Mack from Iraq will be back!

2006-05-30T12:30:00.000-05:00

This season of Big Brother, the contestants will be picked by America. I'm telling you right now ... if His Hotness, King Kaysar the Luscious, is not picked, I will be boycotting. Because, for real? Who doesn't want this on their TV 3 out of 7 days?

'Haila and 'Bella

2006-05-25T14:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I got a large envelope in the mail. When I opened it, the above picture slid out, signed "To Sarai, with love - Suhaila" and (in a heart) "From Isabella." Suhaila Salimpour sent an autographed picture to my baby! And all because I sent her a pitifully fangirl e-mail in which I shared with her that Sarai really loves to watch her and Isabella dance and that she (Sarai) thinks that Suhaila is the greatest name ever, even though she can't pronounce it. When the picture slid out of the envelope, Sarai's eyes got huge and she squealed, "'Haila! 'Bella! 'Haila and 'Bella for me!" I'm going to get her a wonderful frame and hang it on her wall. I cannot believe Suhaila, who I'm sure hardly ever has a second of free time, took that second to sign and send a picture to my daughter. I will forever have her back for that (not that she needs it).

David wept.

2006-05-25T13:11:00.000-05:00

So, Taylor Hicks has won American Idol. Soul Patrol, Soul Patrol, Soul Patrol!!!! (Sorry, had to get that out.) I'm glad that Taylor won - Katharine has a lovely voice but there's something about her that just puts me off. Anyway, on to the most important part - Prince was there!!!! His name is Prince and he is funky! (Mel, remember when you used to do "interpretive dance" to "pronounce" his name when it was a symbol? "My name is (flail around aimlessly for a few hot seconds) and I am funky!" Okay, I digress ... moving on.) The rest of the performances sucked all kinds of butt. It was awful. I mean, come on. Katharine McPhee and ... Meatloaf? MEATLOAF???? Really? Really? It was so clear to me that that man was both drunk and high. He's not been awesome since The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Really ... what is the point of him? And, as much as I love Paris, (and Kem, who I've been told sounds like Al Jarreau) what the freak was up with her performance with that wizened old corpse - you know, The Corpse Formerly Known as Al Jarreau. What was that??? And, in other news, when Taylor won, there was a long shot of David Hasselhoff ... crying. Ummm ... David? Do you know Taylor?

I'm telling you this because I'm sure it must have some sort of scientific significance ...

2006-05-24T14:19:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I was having a full-blown panic attack. I tried all my usual methods of calming down: deep breathing, talking myself out of the panic spiral, directing a fan at my face to cool me off, etc. Nothing worked. Until I started reading a Grey's Anatomy recap on Television Without Pity. Now, I'm not sure if it was my brain's memory of how good watching Grey's makes me feel or if it was the mental picture of pretty, pretty Patrick of the Beautiful Black Hair, or if the recollection of the choking sobs I couldn't hold back when witnessing the death of Denny, or the gush of "awww!" and "Scrumpf!" that came from me when watching George throw Callie up against a wall and tongue her down. Whatever it was, thinking of Grey's soothed my anxiety-induced feeling that I was in the throes of imminent death. Now, ask yourself ... isn't that proof that it's the greatest show on television?

Product reviews

2006-05-24T14:06:00.000-05:00

Okay, my beauties, time for a few product reviews! I ordered some fun, new MAC things and got them yesterday. I'm wearing them today and I have the perfect peachy-pink face! Lovely! MAC Veluxe Pearl Eyeshadow in In Living Pink I am the biggest fan of the Veluxe Pearl shadows. The color isn't sheer at all - it goes on quite smoothly, and gives a nice gleam without being overly shiny. Imagine putting NARS Orgasm blush on your eyes - that's what this is like. MAC Frost lipstick in Pink Cabana I read about this the other day on one of the bajillions of beauty blogs I peruse every day (I can't remember which one, unfortunately). I thank her (whoever she is) for the recommendation. This is a lovely shade of goldy pink. However, my brown-skinned sisters, be aware that this is a frost lipstick. Frosty shades can often look ashy next to our bronze skin, which is unattractive. If you're inclined to get this shade, I suggest you layer a nice gloss on top of it. Speaking of which ... MAC Lipglass in Glamoursun It's NARS Orgasm blush as a lipgloss - and a better one than the actual Orgasm lipgloss, which is sticky and unfun. This looks so lush when layered over Pink Cabana or when worn alone. In fact, Sarai was the first to test it out - it's almost exactly the color of her lips and she was feeling very swanky for about five minutes ... until she drank a juice box and ate a cookie, which was the end of that. I finished today's look with MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in Stereo Rose. Pick 'em up!

File this under "WTF?"

2006-05-23T13:53:00.000-05:00

Apparently, Lionel Richie is some kind of icon in Iraq! Lionel Richie??? For real??? Seriously. Why?

You know what?

2006-05-23T09:02:00.000-05:00

If I can see your toes, I shouldn't see your hose. I know that's a cliché, but it bears repeating, especially now that it's getting warm. Do not wear pantyhose with sandals ... it's unforgivable. If you're a co-worker, you're not obligated to ask after the welfare of my child. This is you: "So, uh ... um ... uh ... how's the uh ... um ... uh ... child?" Okay, if you can't remember her name, nor can you be bothered to remember that the child is a girl, I think it's safe to say that you don't really care about how she's doing. In which case, feel free not to ask ... I promise I won't be offended by your lack of feigned concern.

My consultation with Lotus

2006-05-19T11:39:00.000-05:00

So, I'll be starting private lessons with Lotus, as of next Thursday. I'm so excited! Most of the consultation was just the two of us, talking. We talked about my desires and goals and I let her know that my ultimate desire is to be good enough to have earned the title "professional." I let her know that that's my five-year goal. Her reply: "What makes you think it'll take five years?" Hee! Lotus let me know that working with her on a one-to-one basis requires a physical, mental, financial, and time commitment and asked me if I'm truly ready for all that it will entail. I am. She also made it clear that I will be working my cute little butt off. I am to come to my lesson prepared to sweat. There will also be sessions where I'll be studying DVDs and videos of native dancers, sessions where we'll spend time talking about professionalism and marketing, sessions where I'll be picking apart videotapes of my performances and lessons. Also, I have to buy an Arabic-English dictionary, as Lotus expects all of her students to be able to speak some basic Arabic. I need to know and be able to identify, the Arabic rhythms. I will have homework after each session. I will be required to do reading and research on the culture and present papers - which will be graded. Yikes! Also, she let me know that she will be entering me in shows - not for her edification, but for my own education - I will be learning by fire. She is grooming me to enter the professional bellydance world. Wow. What have I gotten myself into? I'm about to begin on the scariest and most thrilling ride of my life. I can't wait.

Product Review: L'Oreal Colour Juice

2006-05-17T14:39:00.000-05:00

This past Saturday, after our manicures and pedicures, Ericka and I went to Ulta. It was my first time there and I liked it a lot. Not as high-end as Sephora and limited in those types of products, but they had some high-end lines and drugstore brands, all in the same place, which made me quite happy. While we were there, I picked up L'Oreal Colour Juice in Golden Oasis. It's part of their summer line, which is all golds and bronzes - quite pretty and naturally sunkissed. I must tell you - I love this color. I have always liked L'Oreal Colour Juice, which is L'Oreal's version of Lancome Juicy Tubes. I like Colour Juice better than Juicy Tubes, actually. The price is quite cheaper, the colors are sheerly pretty, and the scent isn't as strong. Golden Oasis is now my replacement for MAC Lipglass in Oh Baby. I recently ran out of Oh Baby and planned to repurchase, but not any more! Golden Oasis feels just as smooth on my lips, the color is almost the same - just a touch more gold, and it has the same shiny, glittery wet look. Yay! I give this 4.5 on the 5 Kiss Scale - .5 taken off because the scent might turn some folks off, though I don't find it too heavily scented. Okay, wait! Make that 4 kisses, because I'm sure this shade is a limited edition, meaning I won't be able to find it after a while, which will irk.

Have Black people lost faith in marriage?

2006-05-17T14:19:00.000-05:00

The other night, during the LIFE Ministry rap session (that's our young adult ministry, ages 18-30), our theme was, "Have Black people lost faith in marriage?" The moderator started the discussion by sharing these statistics: 61% of adult Whites are married, as are 60% of adult Hispanics. However, only 41% of adult Blacks are married. What makes the Black community so different and how have our attitudes about marriage changed? Of course, me being Mother Mouth Maybelle, I was the first to reply. I talked about the history of having families separated during slavery; of slaves being unable to legally marry and, even when they were offered the option of jumping the broom, lots of times, husbands and wives lived on separate farms; of married female slaves being "given" to males other than their husbands to breed with like animals, etc. Then I talked about economic issues and the phenomenon of the "strong Black woman." As soon as I said that, eyes started rolling and teeth sucking commenced. But, I believe this wholeheartedly - some of us have become so "strong" and independent, that we emasculate men. We give them no room to be strong themselves. We broadcast the "fact" that we don't need them. We give them no place in our lives. And also, we do ourselves a disservice when we take on such a "strong" image that we don't allow ourselves the privilege of weakness. Anyway, it was a really interesting, enlightening discussion from that point on. I'm glad we had it. I'm looking forward to more thought-provoking discussions. I don't think it's necessary for all Christians or all Black people to hold the same opinion on this, or any other, issue. But I think it's so helpful when we can come together and discuss the topics that are relevant to our community. So, if you want, go ahead and weigh in - what do you think? Have we (Black folk) lost faith in marriage? And, for my non-Black readers, what do you think about the state of marriage in our society (Black folk, you can weigh in on this one, too)?

My dance goals?

2006-05-17T08:35:00.000-05:00

Tonight is my first private lesson with Lotus. As you all know (because I've said it a billion times), I'm hella nervous, but looking forward to it. One thing she suggested is that I bring with me the goals that I want to reach in my bellydance "career" - in 6 months, a year, 5 years. I've tried to write something out, but I'm frozen. I'm really at a loss. I've kind of thought about this, but always in the abstract, fuzzy, "Oh, it would be nice, if ..." kind of way. I've never had to really put some deep thought into it and make a few concrete decisions about where I'm trying to go with dance. What do I want from this: good exercise, to feel better in my skin, to develop grace, to make friends, etc.? I know that I do want all those things, but they can't be it. I wouldn't be pursuing this as passionately as I have and am if all I wanted was to feel better about myself, physically. I mean, I could lose weight and tighten up with a treadmill and free weights, yet I haven't devoted myself as fully to the gym as I have to bellydance. This dance fills something in me, emotionally, and I want to continue. But to what degree? Do I want to be a lifelong hobbyist or do I see myself crossing over into the professional arena? I'm pretty sure that I don't want to make bellydance my living because I think that will suck from it all the joy and fun that I find in it now. But do I desire to be good enough to get paid for a gig, should I want to go that route? Aarrrgggh! I am so frustrated right now! I can't make my thoughts settle down enough to get them into any cohesive kind of order!

2006-05-16T11:32:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday, Ralph!

WARNING

2006-05-16T11:30:00.000-05:00

I am not in a good mood. I checked the calendar and ... PMS is here, in full effect. Please protect yourself, your men, small children and pets against the coming onslaught. You have been warned.

Public Service Announcement

2006-05-15T11:44:00.000-05:00

Men should wear undershirts, particularly when they're wearing a thin, white buttoned-down shirt. Otherwise, I will be able to see your actual moobs (a.k.a. man boobs), instead of just the outline and none of us want that.

The Great Mascara Hunt: Day Eight

2006-05-15T09:18:00.000-05:00

I have done it! I have found the perfect mascara!!!! Let us all take a moment. Ahhhhh. Okay, let the review commence. Today, the mascara of note is L'Oreal Shocking Volume. Seeing the ads with Aishwarya Rai were enough to make me want to try this mascara. (Isn't she just astonishingly beautiful?) Anyway, since I was in Ulta, I decided to buy a tube. Let me just say that, initially, I was irritated when applying this mascara. The "tube" is huge and unwieldy, as are the part of the brushes that you grasp. That frustrated me a tiny bit. And, when I realized it was just a primer and a mascara with a comb, I rolled my eyes and thought, "Okay, L'Oreal is biting off Maybelline - twice!" Maybelline has the XXL Volume + Length which is a primer/mascara combo and Lash Stylist which is a mascara with a comb applicator. But, when I applied it ... I actually gasped at the results! It beats the pants off both XXL and Lash Stylist! The primer goes on much more smoothly than the Maybelline primer and the mascara that you apply with the comb plumps and lengthens your lashes to a ridiculous amount! I do not have awe-inspiring lashes, so when I looked at myself in the mirror and realized that my lashes were long, lush, and defined (read: almost fake-looking) even behind my glasses, I was hooked immediately. I am declaring, here and now, that L'Oreal is the best drugstore make-up brand, hands down. Between this mascara and the entire True Match line, I am their loyal servant for life. I have never, do you hear me? Never! felt this way about a mascara before. Product rating: 9.8 - I'm taking off .2 because the tube takes some getting used to. Buy this mascara!!!!

Can you stand the rain?

2006-05-15T08:43:00.000-05:00

On this rainy day, these are the thoughts currently running through my head: 1) The sweater over the shoulders look is the worst thing ever! Okay, let it be known that, if there was one "style" that would be as anti-Toya as possible, "preppy" would be it, so I'm admittedly biased ... still, it's not cute. And there's something vaguely creepy about it ... it looks like the person is being hugged from behind by some scary, sweater-wearing ghost. Uggghhh (shudders with revulsion)! 2) Marty Bass is not a meteorologist. WJZ has this new commercial about its weather team and it says: "Meteorologist Tim Williams, Meteorologist Bernadette Whatever-her-last-name-is and ... Marty Bass." Notice the lack of Meteorologist in front of his name. Which explains why his forecasts are always 10 degrees different than everybody else's and why he regularly predicts snowstorms that never happen.

The Great Mascara Hunt: Day Seven

2006-05-12T11:03:00.000-05:00

I've found another good mascara made by Maybelline, which leaves me at even more of a loss to explain why they're so all-fired excited about (Not so) Great Lash. Anyway ... today's mascara is Maybelline Sky High Curves. This is supposedly an "extreme length and curl waterproof mascara." Now, I don't know about "extreme", but my lashes are lengthened and it did plump them up considerably. And I do see a distinct bend to my lashes. So, I'm satisfied with this mascara. I even like it. I can see myself adding this to my regular mascara wardrobe. It's not my favorite, but definitely do-able. Product rating: 7.5

Friends! How many of us have them?

2006-05-11T18:08:00.000-05:00

In the kitchen, Sarai was looking at the Christmas picture of Meloni and her family that hangs on our refrigerator. She asked the names of all the people in the picture and I told her, for the 500th time. I told her that Aunt Meloni is one of Mommy's best friends. To which she said, "I want to be Mommy's best friend!" Awww! I am going to cherish moments like this because someday she will be 13 and she will hate the sight of me.

A small thing that made me happy

2006-05-11T16:32:00.000-05:00

The other day, when I was marketing, I saw this beautiful hill of fresh green beans. For some reason, I was drawn toward those beans and bought a bagful. Now, keep in mind, I haven't snapped green beans in years, so I have no idea what possessed me. Still, I have been wanting to change my family's diet, so buying those beans was a good first step, as was buying nothing but healthy food choices for the fridge and pantry (Okay, okay ... I bought some Breyer's peach ice cream, too, but I think that can be forgiven). Just now, I was upstairs snapping and washing those green beans and it was such a lovely experience. It took me back to being a small girl in my grandmother's kitchen. At that age, snapping the green beans and sorting through the black eyed peas were the only jobs Grandma would trust me with. I used to love doing it and today I was reminded of that. It's nice when you get an unexpected reminder of the innocent joys of childhood.

Things that irk me

2006-05-11T15:40:00.000-05:00

Mariah Carey's "high register", which is really just a synonym for "annoyingly high-pitched shrieking". I mean, for real ... I could do that. Does that mean I should have a few Grammys? People who smack their lips between every phrase when they speak. It's not cute. This is something several girls I knew did in high school, usually while rolling their eyes and gesticulating wildly with neon acrylic-nailed hands. It wasn't cute then, and it's less cute now. It's ridiculous and makes you look and sound like a damn fool. Stop it.

I should never have started watching "American Inventor" ...

2006-05-11T13:46:00.000-05:00

... because now I know that, every time I flush the toilet, poop- and pee-laced mist shoots into the air ... and that skeeves me out.

The Great Mascara Hunt: Day Six

2006-05-11T13:33:00.000-05:00

Oh, my goodness, y'all! I think I have found it! My new favorite mascara! (Okay, besides the Almay one, which I also loved.) It is (drum roll, please) ... Maybelline Lash Discovery Mini-Brush Mascara in Soft Black!!!! I am incapable of figuring out how Maybelline could make a product as unswervingly average as "Great" Lash and get things so right with Lash Discovery. The "Soft Black" shade is black enough that it makes my lashes more defined, but not so dark that it looks like "nighttime" eyes. No clumps or gloops. My lashes are darn long and curled. I just ... I just ... I just can't form words to describe my happiness. I found Love in a Mascara Tube ... at Walgreen's for Pete's sake!!!! I am in heaven - cheap-yet-fabulous-mascara-that-induced-a-mascaragasm-heaven!!!!!! Product rating: 9, but only because I have forbidden myself to give any product a 10, because nothing is perfect.

I just finished dancing!

2006-05-10T11:52:00.000-05:00

It went awesomely well! I am so proud of myself for doing this - I started with a short speech about how I got into bellydance and what this dance has done for me mentally, emotionally, and physically. Then, I danced to Habibi Ya Eini by Nourhanne and finished up by picking three volunteers from the audience and teaching them some basic moves and having them "perform" with me to the song. The audience applauded and cheered and the volunteers really seemed to love it. I had about a dozen people come up to me afterward to ask me if I teach - which, of course, I told them no - but I did point them in the direction of Baltimore-area teachers, so I was able to give back a little to the B'More bellydance community - yay me! Thank GOD for Na'lani. She really comes through for me when I have to perform choreography. She makes me look good and seems to understand who I am as a dancer. More importantly, she gives me tips on what I need to work on - I know that I have feelings that can be hurt, but shoot, when I hire a teacher, I want her (or him) to really teach me! If I'm doing something wrong or if I need to tighten something up, tell me! How can I hope to get better if I don't know what I'm doing wrong? So, thank GOD for you, Na'lani (if you're reading) - you whip my butt into shape! So, the next big thing in my dance life is ... private lessons with Lotus start next Wednesday. I am somewhat petrified, which is silly, because I've been taking lessons from her for more than a year and she's invited me into her advanced class and has now invited me to take private lessons from her. So, that means one of two things: 1) She thinks I'm good enough to invest that amount of time into me or 2) I suck so bad that she thinks I really need her help. Either way, I'll wind up better, so, scared as I am, I'm looking forward to it.

The Great Mascara Hunt: Day Five

2006-05-09T10:44:00.000-05:00

Today, I decided to tackle that bastion of Mascara-dom, Maybelline Great Lash. This mascara has the reputation of being "the most widely used mascara among make-up artists." And, my question is, who are these make-up artists of whom they speak? 'Cause, for real? The only make-up artist I've ever seen use it is Carmindy from What Not to Wear. All the make-up artists I know scoff at the pink tube. I'm just sayin'. Anyway, I decided to find out if my scoffage is wrongly directed. For the purpose of this test, I decided to buy what looked to be the Greatest of Great Lash - Great Lash in Blackest Black Mascara with Curved Brush. As I have previously stated, curved brushes irk the heck outta me. I just don't get the idea of it. I understand that the curved brush is supposed to add curl, but if the formulation of the mascara is already supposed to curl the lashes, then what's the point? Also, does anyone besides me find that it's harder to apply the mascara properly with a curved brush??? So, okay, I tried it this morning. And I'm here to tell you ... scoffage was applied appropriately. Great Lash is simply not great. There's no way around it. The "mascara most widely used by make-up artists" is average. It's not as ridiculously ineffective as L'Oreal Panoramic Curl, but it did not make me have a mascara-induced orgasm. It's really, really regular, y'all. My lashes look just the teeniest big longer; I see no added volume, and, while it did give my lashes a discernable lift (I'm loath to call it "curl"), it also caused quite a bit of clumpage, much to my dismay. How is it possible that this mascara made my lashes both spindly and clumpy???? Aaarggghh!!! Product rating: 4 - Only because it did give me some lift and a tiny bit of length. I can't even give it a 5 because it's supposedly the end-all and be-all of mascaras - come on! It should seriously be better than this. Geez.

WTH????

2006-05-05T12:22:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm posting this from my mother's house. Ask me why. Because there was a freaking bomb threat at my job!!!! We got an announcement to evacuate the building and the campus immediately! Oh my goodness!

The Great Mascara Hunt: Day Four

2006-05-05T09:19:00.000-05:00

Today's mascara is Almay intense i-color volumizing mascara in Purple Amethyst. This mascara is designed to be worn by those with brown eyes and is supposed to be used with their other intense i-color products - the shadow set and liner. I have the shadow set, which includes a couple neutral shadows and a lavendar shade, but I don't have the liner. I didn't feel like wearing eyeshadow today, but I do have a purple liner - MAC Eye Kohl - Violet Underground. I didn't think it would be fair to use the mascara without an accompanying liner, since it was designed to be part of a system.

I really like this mascara. I don't think it lives up to its promise to make my brown eyes look browner, but it's still a very good mascara. The dark purple shade doesn't look much different than black to me - in fact, I think it looks darker than regular black mascara. As for volumizing, it definitely does that - I applied two coats and my lashes look significantly plumper. And, get this - it curls! It does a much better job than yesterday's clunker, L'Oreal Panoramic Curl.

This mascara is really, really good. I recommend it!

Product rating: 9. I subtracted one point because it really doesn't do anything to make my eyes look more brown.

List Friday: My 10 Favorite Wardrobe Pieces When I Was a Teenager

2006-05-05T09:07:00.000-05:00

1. Stacked socks. Thanks for reminding me of this, Sparkles! Yes, I did stack my socks so that they matched each color of my outfit. For instance, when wearing my favorite checkered skirt (which will also make this list), which was purple, black and green, I wore at least two pairs of socks - purple and black and/or green. 2. The aforementioned skirt. It was checkered. And pleated. GOD, help me - there are pictures. 3. My boyfriend's jersey. Somehow I thought it was cool to be wearing his sports uniforms. Sad. He was such a jerk. A cute jerk, though. I actually looked at one of our prom pictures yesterday - it was from his senior prom. You could totally see my boob in it, but I never noticed until yesterday - 11 years later! 4. Anything with Mickey Mouse on it. Because he was our class mascot. There were whole days devoted to wearing Mickey Mouse paraphernalia. We were wack. 5. Tight jeans. Because no one had heard of boot-cut yet. 6. Palazzo pants. Must I even talk about it? I thought they were the height of fashion. In my senior portrait, I'm actually wearing a yellow, printed palazzo pants and vest outfit! With a cream bodysuit underneath! And people gasped when I walked into school - not because I looked a hot, buttered mess (which I did), but because they thought I looked fly. What??? 7. Body suits. See the above. I owned one in every color imaginable. Ew. 8. Mules. The pointy-toed mule was just coming into fashion. I still love them. 9. Clogs. The complete opposite of the pointy-toed mule. Yet I also loved them. Hate them now. Wouldn't be caught dead in a clog. Okay, maybe I would, but it would be because I was dead and somebody removed the fashionable shoe choice I made when alive and crammed ugly clogs onto my cold, dead feet. 10. Gold rings on every freakin' finger. Enough said. I was so Baltimore.

You know what irks me?

2006-05-04T11:15:00.000-05:00

When people spell the contraction of "you all", "ya'll". People! Hello! Let's review: contraction of "you are"= "you're", contraction of "they are"= "they're", contraction of "you all"= "y'all"!!! Why for the love of GOD, would you put the contraction mark in the middle of "all"???? You're contracting the "you" part!!!! Come on! This is basic, folks!

Minimalist chic

2006-05-04T11:05:00.000-05:00

I don't know what's going on with me lately. Y'all know that I am a fan of the "extra" as far as fashion is concerned. I like ornamentation and fabulousness. I like bright, usually cool, colors. But, all of a sudden, my sense of style is changing. I think some of it is influenced by my dancing - paying attention to what costumes look best on me has made me rethink what colors are best, some of it is the books I've been reading (the What Not To Wear books are great!). Either way, I'm starting to change my ideas about color and about types of clothes that suit me best. Like today, I'm wearing an outfit I would never have worn in years past: a brown square-necked fitted tee with lettuce-edge sleeves, an olive green (the color of this font) handkerchief-y skirt from Target, gold ballerina flats, gold cuff, gold drop earrings. Now, I would never have worn olive green - I thought it was an awful color and would make me look sickly. But it doesn't! I've found that earthtones are beautiful on me! And, those of you who know me well know that I have been a silver/white gold/platinum person for I don't know how long, so to be wearing yellow gold is a huge step for me! And there's no ornamentation anywhere on this outfit! I am amazed!

The Great Mascara Hunt: Day 3

2006-05-04T07:59:00.000-05:00

Today's mascara is L'Oreal Panoramic Curl. This is the first time I'm testing this product. Yesterday, during one of my famous Walgreen's runs, I picked up three different mascaras to test. I'm one who believes that it's not necessary and probably, not even best, to buy high-priced mascaras. Mascaras should be changed at least every 3 months. I change mine every month. If you know you're going to be throwing out a tube of mascara so often, do you really want to be spending $20 or more each time you re-purchase? Something to think about. Anyway, this mascara is supposed to give your lashes amazing volume and curl. The tube is kind of cool looking - it's curved because it's a curling mascara, get it? Immediately, I was a little irked. When I saw that the brush was curved, I thought, "huh", but forged on. This was my first time using a mascara with a curved brush and I did not like it. I found the curve made the brush hard to deal with - it seemed like it took more effort to make sure I distributed the mascara on each lash and my lashes seemed to clump together instantly. I applied another coat, hoping to separate the clumping. I was able to unclump my lashes, but I was still disappointed with the result. At one point, my bottom lashes were sticking to my top lashes; my top lashes don't look particularly curled to me; and, though I bought it in Blackest Black, my lashes don't look all that darkened. I am quite disappointed in this product and wouldn't recommend it. Product rating: 2

Separated at birth?

2006-05-03T15:34:00.000-05:00

Tarek from The Apprentice

Orlando Bloom

OMG! Get away from my car!!!!

2006-05-03T14:00:00.000-05:00

Okay, some of you already know this story, but I need to put it here for backstory: Several years ago (before Vic and I were married, so probably almost 5 years ago), I was driving home from my grandparents' house. At the time, I had a silver Mazda Protége. I was waiting at a red light and minding my own business. An obvious crackhead walked up to my car and tried to open the back door and get into the back seat. At first, I did nothing because I was in shock. I remember thinking, "Does she think I'm a hack?" ... then "Is she trickin'? Does she think I'm trying to pick her up?" ... then "OMG! A crackhead is trying to get into my car!" At that point, I freaked all the way out and started screaming, "GET AWAY FROM MY CAR!!!" The more I screamed, the more the crackhead pulled at the door handle, cussing me out the whole time. So, I am spazzing now - "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY CAR!!!" (I am pounding the steering wheel as I scream and my eyes are bugging out.) A few seconds later, the light changes and I speed off. As I drove the rest of the way home, shaking, I called Vic and my Aunt Cheryl. Both of them asked me the logical question - "Why didn't you just drive through the red light to get away from her?" Of course, that option had never occurred to me because I was too busy being freaked out by the raging mad crackhead trying to get into my car with me! Okay, so I posted that story so that you can see why the events of this past Monday were particularly hilarious and freaky. Monday, I was about to turn onto the street that leads into my development when I noticed an old lady walking slowly across. Of course, I stopped and waited at the corner until she crossed over. Just as I was about to turn, the lady leans forward and says, "Thank you" through my open window. I smile and say, "You're welcome" and again, prepare to drive off. Then I notice that she's leaning even further into my window, so I give her a pleasantly respectful look of "Hmm?" She says, "Gimme $3." I say, "What?" Old lady: "Gimme $3. I need to get on the bus." Me: Silent because I'm dumbfounded. I look at her silently, wondering if I know her. Does she recognize me and I don't recognize her? Is she a relative? A friend of one of my grandparents? After a while, I realize that I truly do not know this woman, so I say, "Uh, no. I don't have it." The old lady looked quite accusingly at my pocketbook, which sat on the seat. I thought to myself, "Old lady, you can feel froggy if you want to and jump toward my pocketbook and I'm here to tell you, I'm either peeling off and dragging you halfway into the cul-de-sac or I'm rolling the window up and taking your arm off." The look I gave her must have conveyed that message because she backed up with a quickness. I told my mother and Vic about the occurrence. They both said, "You need to keep your windows rolled up from now on." Um, what? That's all you have to say to the fact that I've been accosted in my car, not once, but twice by obviously crazy women? Neither of them seems to appreciate the potential for melodrama.

Rush, Rush

2006-05-03T09:12:00.000-05:00

Coming in to work this morning, the hosts on the morning show I was listening to were talking about Paula Abdul for some reason. As I was walking into the building, I started thinking about Paula and how she's won Grammys and whatnot. And I'm wondering, "Why?" Does she have some musical talent that has previously gone unnoticed by me? "Then again," I thought, "I always did like her music, especially 'Rush, Rush'." Then, of course, I started humming the song to myself. Then, I started thinking about the video and how fine Keanu Reeves was in it and how jealous I was of Paula. I actually taped that video. I used to rewind it over and over again to listen to Keanu say, "No." Yeah, I had it bad for that dude. I mean, look at him. Isn't he a vision of loveliness? Okay, admittedly, Keanu isn't the brightest bulb, but ... the man is beautiful to behold.

The Great Mascara Hunt: Day Two

2006-05-03T09:05:00.000-05:00

Today's mascara is Avon Daring Definition Mousse Mascara - Black. Once again, I mostly use black mascara, so get used to that. I was interested in buying this mascara, first, because my friend, Yalonda, is an Avon sales rep (let me know if you want her info) and secondly, because I wanted to know if "mousse mascara" is somehow different than regular old mascara. I really like this product. I've used it for quite a few weeks now and have never had a problem with smearing, flaking or clumping. I've noticed that it does a really good job of lengthening and curling my lashes - my lashes are actually flipped up at the ends today ... NICE! One downside: It doesn't really darken or thicken your lashes. I think the "mousse" texture just isn't thick enough or something, so, if that's what you're going for, this isn't the mascara for you. Still, a nice every day look, I think. Product Rating: 7

Check the avatar!

2006-05-03T06:56:00.000-05:00

This "Fairy Toya" avatar is in honor of Cathy, participant in the Faerie Fest and maker of the best fairy princess skirts ever! "Fairy Toya" is also in honor of me, who was told by Na'lani last night that my new name is "Tinkerbell" since I have this weird predisposal to raise my arms over my head and kick my foot out every time I'm supposed to spin. Of course, that is because I am a pretty, pretty princess. The fact that I was wearing one of the aforementioned fairy princess skirts at the time didn't help matters much.

The Great Mascara Hunt: Day 1

2006-05-02T09:44:00.000-05:00

The first mascara up for review is Cover Girl Lash Exact. I think this would be described best as a defining mascara. I bought it in "Very Black", as almost all of my mascaras are black. Brown is a little too subtle for me, I've found, but it looks really good on women with fairer skin and hair, like blondes. Since I'm a bleached blonde, I don't count. Anyway ... I like this mascara. I think it took me a few tries for it to grow on me. At first, I was disturbed by the "skinniness" of my lashes when I wore it. Then, I realized, it's not a thickening mascara - duh! I did notice that my lashes look instantly longer, but I think that's more from how the mascara unclumps them and really makes each lash stand out. If you apply more than one coat, it does offer some thickening, as well. I would recommend this mascara for days when you want a more natural look and aren't concerned that it doesn't give that "va-va-va-voom" that some others do. Or, it would work well for ladies who have naturally thick lashes and are just looking for something that will help them stand out and maybe lengthen just the tiniest bit. Though I bought "Very Black", I don't think it did much in the way of darkening, but then again, I have really dark lashes anyway. On the whole, I was satisfied with the product, but not overwhelmed by its fabulousness. Product Rating: 6

The Great Mascara Hunt

2006-05-02T09:34:00.000-05:00

Annie at Blogdorf Goodman has declared May "Mascara Madness Month". I have volunteered to be a part of "The Great Mascara Hunt". I'm really excited! You can go to www.blogdorfgoodman.blogspot.com to see the other bloggers who are involved and read their reviews. Annie sent us all this lovely icon to attach to our mascara review posts. For some reason, I'm having a hard time attaching it right now, but as soon as I figure out what the heck the problem is, I'll be adding it, so you can readily see which posts apply. Off to do my first post!

Amer's Spring Hafla

2006-05-01T10:20:00.000-05:00

I had such a great time last night! Vic and Sarai came this time, which really made me happy. Vic and I are starting to see more eye-to-eye on my bellydancing - it's still not "his thing", but he's now gotten to see that it's "my thing" and he appreciates that. When we were riding home in the car, he told me how fun it was to see me do my little solo part of one of the troupe dances, just to watch me improvising and see how happy it makes me to dance. He doesn't suck, does he? I like that he's trying to understand me more and making an effort. I could just eat him with a spoon. Not to mention that he looked downright cute last night and was quite flirty. He's yummy. Everybody should have one. I think our dancing went really well and seemed to be well-received by the crowd. I think Kallisti adds a touch of "differentness" to the Amer's hafla. There was more "tribal" this time than the last time around - Ruta did a sword dance in tribal regalia and Naimah did more slinky-dink urban tribal fusion - but we were the only troupe of any kind. It felt good to represent. I think we all looked wonderful - the headwraps worked, I think. And our music was fun and peppy. During intermission, they had live drumming and open dancing. I saw Sarai dancing up on Vic's lap, so I went to get her, since I'd promised her that I'd let her dance if they open drumming and she'd worn her hip scarf for the occasion. Of course, Girlfriend didn't need to be asked twice. She tore up the floor dancing! (She refused to dance on a chair, though. I think she was afraid that she might fall.) At one point, the rest of the dancers kinda became her chorus line! It was awesome and hysterical. She danced around the entire restaurant and got her first tip! (A whole dollar!) Vic offered to frame it, but she said no. Ha! She cried when the music stopped because she wanted to keep dancing. Damien does a great job at organizing the hafla and Amer's is always such a warm, fun atmosphere. Last night, Gretchen Amer made the announcement that the haflas are going to be regular events, every three months, which was great to hear. I can't wait 'til the next one - I hope we're invited to dance again!

I couldn't be on Survivor.

2006-05-01T10:18:00.000-05:00

I could not be around that many stink people for that long - even if I was one of them.

Product Review: Stila Convertible Color

2006-04-28T12:29:00.000-05:00

I think I must be the only person in the beauty universe who doesn't love this stuff. I'd never had much of a desire to try it - I figured, cream blush is cream blush, right? Besides, once Bobbi Brown came out with her Pot Rouge, I was convinced that no other creamy product for lips and cheeks would ever do. I was right. I ordered Stila Convertible Color in Poppy. I'm trying it today. I applied it to freshly moisturized (well, in my case, freshly sunscreened) skin - a few dabs of color from the apple of my cheek back to the hairline and blended in. This is the way I always apply cream blushes. I also used my pinky finger to apply the color to my lips. Right away, I thought, "This color looks great on my cheeks ... not so much on my lips." While it gave a nice, reddish flush to my cheeks, for some reason, the same color made my lips look like I'd been hit in the mouth or something. It wasn't the most flattering shade of red, at all. That was the first disappointment. The second was that I just don't see anything really special about it. Nothing makes it stand out from any other cream blush. Also, after a couple of hours at work, my lips felt really, really dry. I'd had to add another gloss on top to temper the blood-redness (Sephora Super Shimmer - Bronze Beauty) and, once that wore off, I realized that all the moisture went with it. Needless to say, I'm pretty disappointed. I expected greatness and didn't get it. If you're looking for a similar product, I'd definitely encourage you to go for Bobbi Brown Pot Rouge. I will give Stila Convertible Color a 2 on the 5 kiss scale: 1 because the red does look nice on my cheeks and 1 because I'm leaving some room for improvement - often, after I use a product for a while, I may change my mind, so I'm giving this a chance to grow on me. If I feel any different about it after using it a few times, I'll be sure to let you know.

Raq'ing the Old Folks

2006-04-28T08:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Kallisti Tribal had a performance at the Oak Crest Village Retirement Community. It was a big deal for us - one of the residents had seen us dance at the first Amer's hafla and liked us so much that she invited us to come perform for them. We really wanted to do our best and worked like dogs to get ourselves ready for this event. Call time wasn't 'til 6:30, so I figured it was fine for me to put in a full day of work. I got off at 4 and went home and ran myself a hot bath with some lavendar oil in it, to relax me and ease some of my already tired muscles. I was able to get my costume together with no trouble, but when it came time to put on my pounds of jewelry, my necklace was no place to be found. I tore the bedroom up looking for it - literally throwing clothes and shoes in the air as I searched. By the time I finished, it looked like a tornado had gone through the room - still no necklace. Of course, I was now frustrated beyond belief, but I was running late, so I just said, "Forget it. I have plenty of necklaces - I'll wear another one." Off to do make-up. I was getting ready for the stage, so this make-up wasn't my usual 5 Minute Face. It took me at least 20 minutes to get everything to look the way I wanted it to look. At around 6, I was getting in the car to drive off. As I made the turn to get on 695, I realized I didn't have my make-up bag. OMG! I hit a quick U-turn and went back to the house. I searched and searched for 20 minutes. I could not find my make-up! I was almost in tears. The only reason I didn't cry was because I knew it would ruin my make-up and, since I couldn't find the bag with my supplies, I wouldn't be able to fix it! Finally, at around 6:30, I stopped looking. As I screeched up Rolling Road, I called Nora to tell her I was going to be way late. Nora let me know that there was an accident or something on 695, so the beltway was slow all the way to exit 20. By this time, it was too late for me to take an alternate route - I was just going to have to chance it. Thankfully, there must have been a clear-up by the time I got there because it wasn't too bad. I got to Oak Crest after 7 PM. I drove onto the huge circular road that surrounds the entire community. I couldn't figure out where I was supposed to park. Everything was one way. I was frantic! I called Nora - again! - and she told me that Amy's guy, Justin, would come out to save me. I kept driving and driving and driving until ... thank GOD! ... I saw Justin waving me down on the side of the road. I was so happy that I rolled the window all the way down and screamed, "Hi Justin! I'm so glad to see you!" Justin looked at me like I had lost my mind, which, by this time, I pretty much had. He walked me into the building. I have no idea what the old folks walking past must have thought of us. We sure didn't look like the volunteers they were honoring - the well-pressed young college kids - me with my huge pantaloons, glittery hair flowers, and stage make-up; he with his dreadlocks and camoflage shorts. Ha! Justin is my new hero for saving me from the Circular Street of Doom! I heart him. By the time I saw the girls in the dressing room, I was really ready to cry. But they soothed me, as they always do. We had such fun. Seeing the looks on the faces of the old folks' choir was enough to crack me up. When they passed by to go onto the stage, I'm not sure they knew what to make of us. But when they were leaving, many of them wished us luck, which was really nice. I think we did a great job. Once again, I'm not sure they knew what to make of us, but the applauded nicely. There was one lady, who I will hereafter think of as Prune Pit, who scowled at me the entire time we were dancing, much to my delight. I purposely smiled and shook my booty in her direction as much as possible. I'm sure she was thinking, "You need to go on in the back and put some clothes on, young lady." Ha! Seems we may have gotten a gig out of it, too. A man inquired about us and Brooke (our marketing maven!) gave him our card. So, yay for us! Now, to prepare for Amer's on Sunday. By the end of this week, I'm going to be bushed!

Come on, Hollywood! Get a new idea!

2006-04-28T08:06:00.000-05:00

Please tell me: Why would I go see Poseidon? I saw it the first time ... when it was called TITANIC!!! Geez! Please tell me people are not going to be stupid enough to go see this movie!

Beyond the pale

2006-04-27T10:01:00.000-05:00

As I was walking toward the bathroom, I looked down at my legs and thought to myself, "GOD, my legs are pale!" Then I giggled because I realized ... pale is relative, huh? I mean, yeah, my legs are pale to me, but if, for instance, Nicole Kidman woke up with my skin tomorrow, she'd be all, "WTH??? When did I become Black???" So, I guess what you consider pale is all dependent upon where you fall on the spectrum. Anyway, this train of thought veered off the track quite quickly (which my thought trains usually do) and moved on to something that occurred during my freshman year of college. In Introduction to African American History - taught by Dr. Harrison, who I still miss ... she was such a delightfully snarky old lady - there was a girl who sat near me who was on the paler side of pale, even on Nicole Kidman's scale. At one point, before class, a group of us were talking about the previous summer and what we'd done and I started talking about the cruise that I'd taken and how tan I'd been when I returned to Baltimore. Upon which, Pale Ale replied, "Wow, you must have been as black as your shirt!" (I was wearing a black shirt that day, you see.) To which I quickly said, "I sure was! Your boyfriend loved it!" She got the best "Well, I never!" face I've ever seen. I am the Queen of the Snappy Comeback.

I love my tribe!

2006-04-26T08:51:00.000-05:00

Last night, Brooke graciously opened her home to Kallisti Tribal, so we'd have a place to rehearse for our two upcoming shows. (I can't believe we're doing two shows in one week! The word is getting out about us ... we rock!) It was cool to go there. She has pretty glasses and cute pictures of her and her hubby, Tim, abound. BTW - Tim is a riot! Any dude who would suggest that we do tribal bellydance to crunk is cool with me. Rehearsal was ... disjointed some. There was lots of "Well, how about this!" and "No ... I think we should do this." I felt myself growing increasingly frustrated, but tried to rein it in. At one point, though, it was all I could do not to scream. Thankfully, rehearsal ended and I got in my car and went home. On the way home, I had this thought: "Um, what's wrong with you, Miss Snit Fit?" And the ready answer was: PMS. That bitch. Say it with me, girls. That BITCH! That time has come again. That time we know affectionately as "that time of the month." But I'm thinking ... shouldn't there be a more momentous name for it? Like, I don't know, "The Week of Rage and Pestilence"???? What I love about my Kallistigirls (as I affectionately call them in my head) is that none of them called attention to my obvious pissyness. Nora even complimented me on my leading and thanked me for my dancing. I was shamed into a tongue-tied mess. That, my loves, is the mark of a true friend. Believe me and feel free to ask any of the ones who've known me for years - the best reaction to my moodiness is no reaction at all. Or, you can take Meloni's tack and say, "You're ignorant" and move on. So, thank you all for your patience with me last night. I am so looking forward to dancing with you tomorrow and Sunday. We will knock everyone's socks off! I want you all to know that you each speak to the dancer in me in ways that I can't even express. It's an honor and a pleasure to raq with you.

It's somewhat disturbing ...

2006-04-26T08:41:00.000-05:00

... to see Christopher Meloni reading fairy tales on Noggin. For those of you who don't have a toddler, Noggin is a network devoted to preschoolers. It, and PBS Kids Sprout, are Sarai's favorite TV stations - she calls them her "channels" and throws quite the hissy fit should one of her "channels" not be on the television at all times. Which is why TiVo is such a great invention, otherwise I might not ever get to watch programming designed for someone over the age of 6. She will, however, be sucked in by American Idol or any show related to dance. But, I digress. Like I was saying, it's disturbing to see this dude reading fairy tales to a cartoon bird and espousing the wonders of a child's imagination. Though I'm sure Mr. Meloni is a perfectly nice man and though I find him oddly hot in a dangerous and brooding kind of way, it's impossible for me to look at him and not see the homicidal maniac he played on Oz. Is it just me? Did Noggin really think that through first? Even if you think of him as the character he plays on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, do the powers-that-be over at Noggin really want you think "hard-nosed cop that catches rapists and child molesters" when you think of their station?

What I would tell my younger self

2006-04-25T16:04:00.000-05:00

Things are not as serious as you make them. I know that you have a flair for the dramatic (and you always will), but believe me, 98% of the stuff that you think are huge crises will not even matter in the long run. I thank you for always maintaining a sense of humor - it will serve you well as you get older and become me. Never be afraid to follow your true passions. Stop trying to be the person that others want you to be and embrace who you really are. Life is too short to spend it bored or resentful. Do the things that give you joy. GOD is not displeased when you have fun, when you're happy - He rejoices in your joy. You honor Him with your happiness. Keep your friends close. As the time goes by, you sometimes will have to rely on them heavily. They are happy to allow this - they want you to lean on them. It is fine for you to be a shoulder and an ear for others ... but don't allow people to suck you dry. Take care of yourself. Life is awesome! Seize every moment! You are enough ... by yourself, with yourself, all yourself. You don't need anybody to make you complete - you are a complete package. Love yourself every minute ... completely.

Congrats to Shanna and Tye!

2006-04-25T11:16:00.000-05:00

Congratulations on the birth of Baby Owen! Yay! I can't wait to meet him!

Ode to Poopie, Part 2

2006-04-25T08:19:00.000-05:00

Today is Cousin Poopie's 3oth birthday!!! Poopie is known properly, to all of you, as Ericka. I am quite selfish with the nickname "Poopie". Only I and Sarai are allowed to use it, as Sarai has rightly pointed out that Ericka is my Poopie and, therefore, I can decide who is allowed to use the aforementioned nickname. As of now, those people are ... me and Sarai. Not even Victor. He tries it from time to time and is always met with the "death glare". I think he's getting the point. Anyway ... less me, more her. Above is a picture of Ericka. It isn't a great picture - a bit grainy, not very big. But notice that she is dressed quite cutely and she's standing in a saucy pose. I think that pretty much sums it up - she is cute and saucy. And 30! I can't get over how old she is, really. And yes, I understand that 30 is not old and that she's not in danger of keeling over from old age anytime soon. It's just that I've known her all my life and, when I think of us, I always see us as girls, playing together, laughing about boys together, dreaming of what it'd be like to be grown ups. And now, we're grown ups, in every sense of the word. And yet ... we're still girls when we're together. In our hearts and souls, we're still those two little girls who grew up together. Thank you for the past (almost) 28 years of growing up together, Poopie. I look forward to many more years of being "girls". On your birthday, I pray for abundant blessings upon you, from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. I pray that your heart's desires are granted, that you are loved without reservation and that you love unreservedly in return, that everything you set your hand to prospers, and that all your visions are realized. Happy birthday, Poopie Girl.

More of Punky's questions - Answered

2006-04-25T07:12:00.000-05:00

Did you really color your hair blonde? COOL! I wanna see that! What made you pick that color? Yes, I really did. Not all of my hair is blonde. I have really chunky blonde highlights. It's quite funky, if I do say so myself. I get bored really easily and don't like having the same style or color for too long. I knew it was time for a color change and, for some reason, I was inclined to go all out, rather than be subtle. I just went to the stylist (a guy from my church) and told him to make me blonde. He asked how blonde. I said, "Blonde blonde. Shock my husband blonde." And this is the result. Sweet. Describe a typical Toya-day. Hmm ... I'm not sure there is a typical Toya-day. But I can describe today, if you'd like. So far today, I woke up at 5:30 AM, picked out and ironed my clothes while Vic showered and Sarai watched TV, snuggled with Sarai while Vic was still showering (I swear, that man showers for a half hour), did my bathroom business, dressed, changed Sarai's pull-up and got her ready, dropped her off at Mommy's, got here to work, checked phone messages and e-mails, and decided that I want a caramel latte (which I'm going to go get in a minute). As the day progresses, I have a meeting with a couple of analysts who need my help on how to move forward with the regulation process; I'll be meeting with my boss re: the chart I update that addresses the Deficit Reduction Act of 2005; I will be updating the Unified Agenda and placing it up on the shared drive; I have to do a monthly report by noon; I'll hopefully get in a brisk walk, either on the treadmill or around the walking trail outside; I also plan to eat lunch at some point. After work, I'll go to Mommy's to pick up Sarai; take her home and get her fed and let her play and watch TV for a while while I write my column for Orientaldancer.net; go to rehearsal for a tribal performance coming up on Thursday; return home and hope that Victor has had the presence of mind to put Sarai to bed, but since that is hardly ever the case, I'll probably have to get her teeth brushed, get her changed into her jammies, read her a story, sing her two songs, go back for just one more hug and kiss and say goodnight to her. Then, back downstairs to continue working on my choreography for an upcoming performance, listen to the music for the tribal performance one more time to be sure I have it straight, see if I can keep my eyes open long enough to watch one or two TiVo'ed shows, head upstairs, turn out all lights and put away dinner (which Vic usually "forgets" to do), set the security alarm, wash off the day's make-up, put on my PJs, set the alarm clock (which Vic usually "forgets" to do), and off to sleep - after I calm down the swirl of thoughts that is constantly going on in my head. And the next day ... I start all over again. Sounds fun, huh?

Just want my Kallisti girls to know ...

2006-04-23T22:06:00.000-05:00

... I love you all and I love dancing with you!

Brooke's Question - Answered

2006-04-21T17:43:00.000-05:00

From Brooke: When did you know that you wanted to be a mommy? Do you find that your overall personality changed at all/did you have to change anything to be a mom? Thanks for asking, Brookie! I'm not sure I know when I wanted to be a mom. When Vic and I were talking about children before we got married, our idea was that we'd wait two years. But, for some reason, after we got married, we decided not to do anything to "prevent" it. After we went to settlement on our house, we came home and "celebrated", if you know what I mean and I think you do. And, I believe Sarai was conceived that night. I don't think my personality changed after Sarai was born. I was afraid that it would, so I did everything in my power to make sure that didn't happen. I do think I became more adventurous, as a result of her birth - when I looked at her new life, I thought of all the times I didn't pursue something I wanted because of fear and worry and I didn't want that for her - since I'm her primary role model, I have to be a good example of fearlessness and enjoyment of life. So, that's what I try to do every day.

Today's Ensemble

2006-04-21T12:48:00.000-05:00

(Since I have nothing else to talk about right now.) Today, I am wearing ... Mossimo dark brown v-neck sweater w/ribbing on cuffs and waist GAP Long and Lean jeans Nine West brown pointy-toe high heeled loafers large gold hoop earrings w/pailettes 5 gold bangles wedding set silver Fossil watch camel-colored scarf w/polka dots of red and green (tied around my hair) My fragrance is ... Carol's Daughter Mango Melange body spray My make-up is ... Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Concealer - Dark L'Oreal True Match Concealer - Warm Medium/Deep L'Oreal True Match SuperBlendable Powder - Warm 8 Creme Café L'Oreal True Match SuperBlendable Blush - Warm 7-8 Soft Sun Cover Girl Lash Exact Mascara - Very Black MAC Lipliner - BBQ L'Oreal ColourJuice Sheer Juicy Lip Gloss - Iced Latte (Wow! Lots of L'Oreal today!) My hair is ... ... in a full 'fro, tied back w/a scarf. Good thing I don't go to Hampton!